Many people are in toxic relationships and/or are experiencing in one relationship type or another or even perhaps all of their relationships – toxic relational dynamics. This is why it is so important to become more aware of what this means. What toxic relational dynamics are. If you don’t know what they are chances are you may well be stuck. And even for many who understand that they may in a relationship, have a family member, neighbour, or friend in their lives that has certain traits that mean that they are toxic people many are still stuck regardless of this awareness. Why is that do you think?
Toxic people aren’t who they really appear to be. Toxic people have often certain personality traits that predispose or cause them to have hidden agendas. In some cases these traits compromise one’s conscience and/or result in people being manipulative, exploitative, rather cold, unempathic, and aloof, though they have a false face persona they can fool you with when you first meet them.
Can anyone be hooked into a toxic relational dynamic with one of these people? The answer is really no. So what does it mean if you are or have been hooked into this toxic relational dynamic and now you feel stuck in it? Why are you there you might wonder? How and why did this happen to you? Did it happen to you?
People who have toxic relational traits know who to pick and pick on. They know who they can pull in and take advantage of and/or control and often abuse. How? A few key things that you might want to evaluate about yourself:
- Do you really know who you are?
- Do you like yourself?
- Are you afraid to be alone and/or have you been isolated a lot of your life?
- Are you a rescuer? Do you lack firm limits and boundaries?
- Do you put other people’s feelings ahead of your own? Do you feel the need to please others?
- Are you afraid of abandonment and/or rejection?
- Would you rather just be with someone – anyone – than be alone?
- Do you have unresolved childhood issues – pain, abuse, abandonment, insecure attachment?
- Do you feel dependent upon someone else to take care of you?
- Do you feel unworthy of healthier more mutual love and respect?
If you answered any of these questions with a “no” you need to know that you are more vulnerable to the wolf in sheep’s clothing. You can be hooked in by someone who is toxic for you and who will in one way or another (or in multiple ways) hurt you and who will not be healthy for you.
If you are in a toxic relationship and feel stuck or a toxic relational dynamic with a relative or friend or neighbour and you would like to learn more about to create the change in you that you need so that you can unhook yourself and end patterns of attracting these toxic dynamics please think about purchasing a Life Coaching session with me which you can do in either side menu where you see the drop down Paypal Menu and “Buy Now” buttons.
I have lived this and I know what it takes to work it through, set goals, work on strategy to achieve those goals while making changes in yourself and resolving past issues that have kept you in these negative and very painful and often dangerous unhealthy and toxic relationships and toxic relational dynamics.
These chaotic and drama-filled relationships can be seen in almost every neighbourhood, at least in North America, they are proliferating. They have almost come to seem like more of the norm and that’s sad and dangerous because love is not supposed to hurt. The more you have to “fight” (often quite literally) for a relationship, the less likely it is worth it and the more likely it is absolutely toxic for you.
© A.J. Mahari – March 3, 2013 – All rights reserved.