It might sound obvious to say that what you focus on will be what you experience. The point is, however, that so many people are focused on their experience, mainly, negative experience and/or negative feelings in their lives and confused as to why they are feeling stuck or trapped with the way they feel or how things are unfolding in their lives as if they cannot effect positive change. The reason is because they are not aware of what their original focus is, was, or has been, focused on.
In order to create change in your emotional experience – how you feel, in your relationships, in your life experience, it is necessary to know what you are focusing on that is defining and creating/re-creating your experience and feelings.
Negative focus on negative life experience is a catch-22. It is a patterned cycle that perpetuates itself based upon what your negative core beliefs are and how and what you you think about these core beliefs. Much of this thinking when it comes to negative core beliefs that drive negative thoughts that cause this focus on negative patterned life experience is largely subconscious.
Becoming more aware about what your negative core beliefs are and what your thoughts about what feelings these thoughts create and how that ends up with you not understanding the causation – the cause and effect of negative life experience means living an examined life. It means asking yourself questions about what is and what isn’t working in your life.
Without understanding negative core beliefs that were formed (most often) in childhood many feel like a victim of their own experience. What we experience comes from what we think and how we perceive that experience. You can empower yourself to a deeper understanding of numerous choices you can make to bring about that will re-frame your negative core beliefs into more positive ones. Choices that mean you can change your experience by changing your beliefs and your thoughts.
What are you focusing on? Is it balanced between negative and positive? Are you achieving your goals? Are you where you want to be in your life? Or are your life experiences, your relationships and other aspects of your life feeling largely negative? Do you feel that you spend too much time focusing on chaotic emotions? Do you lack boundaries? Do you defer your own wants and needs to please others? Is your ability to trust compromised? Can you trust? Are your relationships balanced, respectful and healthy or are they toxic and conflictual and/or abusive?
What you focus on is what you will experience. There is some understanding to be found in examining and accepting your current experience. It can lead to asking very important questions that can help you realize why you are focused or over-focused on what you are.
There is a difference between a healthy positive balanced focus that will bring you more positive life experience and an unhealthy more negative focus that will cause you pain and suffering. For many with this negative focus, cycle and pattern, it means perpetuating suffering in what can be a lot of unhappy experience and unhappy relationships.
Ask yourself today what your over-all life experience is like today. Is it more positive or negative? Is it out of balance. Ask yourself what you are focusing on. Do you know why you are focusing on what you are focusing on? Are you overly outer-focused on what others think, say, do, or don’t say, or don’t do? Do you need someone else to fill you up? Do you like yourself?
There is so much rich information to be gained about your life experience by examining what you focus on and what your over-riding life experience is. If you aren’t happy or not achieving your life, work, or relationship goals, you will benefit from purchasing and booking a Life Coaching Session with myself.
Remember, what you resist will continue to persist. What you accept is a gateway to positive change. The choice is yours. Do you want to deny and avoid and feel empty or alone in your life or do you want to face some issues that may be painful but that when worked through will change for your life and relationships for the positive? You can choose to create the change you may well need in your life. Suffering is a choice if no action is taken to change it. Decide to turn any suffering into manageable pain by choosing to examine what you are focused on and why. The healthiest way to live and be is to have a balance between inner and outer focus along with an aware understanding of why you are experiencing what you are in your life, especially if it is painful, unwanted, repetitive life experience.
Don’t let you focus or your experience thus far in life determine your here and now or your future. Empower yourself today by living the examined life that Socrates said is the only way of life “worth living”.
© A.J. Mahari, January 28, 2014 – All rights reserved.