Are you in a toxic relationship? Are things chaotic, dramatic, with lots of conflict? Did you ever think love could be that complicated? Well, guess what, love is not really that complicated at all.
What is felt and shared in toxic relationships is not healthy love. It is toxic love. It is more often than not a kind of codependency. It can be likened to an addiction. Only the addiction in a toxic relationship (while one or both partners may have other addictions as well) is in and of itself an addiction to the other person and to this relationship or to being in an relationship.
Toxic relationship recovery rarely means that such a relationship can survive or be saved. Each person in a toxic relationship needs to learn to take a little more responsibility for him or herself and each will also benefit from focusing on him/herself instead of putting an inordinate amount of focus, time, and energy onto the other.
The fact that a relationship is toxic means that it really needs to come to an end. Sometimes toxic relationships result from the mix of each partner’s unresolved past issues. Other times toxic relationships are at base reflective of major incompatibility.
Recovery from a toxic relationship takes time. It can’t truly begin until you leave the toxic relationship. You must be willing to risk all that you fear about leaving in order to win your freedom and then have the time and space from which you can begin to recover.
Toxic relationships are full of all types of abuse. This is one of the major reasons why anyone coming out of a toxic relationship needs recovery. There will be significant healing required.
To recover from a toxic relationship, you must first let it go. Free yourself. Secondly, you must be patient with yourself. Thirdly, be careful to be sure not to judge yourself. Seek the support of friends, family, and/or a therapist to unearth and increase your awareness about what it is that you need to learn in order to stay out of your most recent toxic relationship and how to break the patterns that may have seen you have a series of toxic relationships.
Recovery takes time. Toxic relationship recovery requires learning from your mistakes in a way that helps you to work at forgiving yourself. It also means learning more about what boundaries and limits will get you and keep you on the road to finding healthier relationships.
It takes more time to build and develop a healthy relationship than it does a toxic one. Learn to be patient. Learn to take your time. Establish healthier boundaries and then do not compromise them no matter what. It is better to be alone and single than to be in a toxic relationship.
Letting go makes change possible. Learning to forgive yourself is the way that you will become more aware of what you really want and what you really need.
Toxic relationship recovery requires gentle positive and nurturing self-talk, mindfulness, and radical acceptance. You can’t change the past but you can live in the moment – each new unfolding moment – after the relationship has been ended – and you can learn to find peace through the grieving of your pain.
Time will heal your wounds. Learning from your pain and any mistakes made will help you stay on the road to patiently waiting and taking the time necessary to establish healthier connections from here on out in your life. Be your own best friend first and do not do anything to compromise that connection to yourself. Let it be your guide. Abide by it and honour it.
For much more about toxic relationships and how to end them and how to set yourself free from them and from toxic relating in any way shape or form check Phoenix Rising Ebooks for my up-coming ebook, “Breaking Free of Toxic Relationships”
Learn more about how to become more fully aware of just what your precious mistakes have been so that you can learn from them once and for all and find the love, peace, and happiness that you so long for and deserve.
© A.J. Mahari – All rights reserved.