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A.J. Mahari has 5 years experience as life coach working primarily with family members, loved ones, ex and relationship partners of people with Borderline Personality Disorder as well as those who have BPD.

Why would a love one – a non borderline – of someone who has BPD want or need or benefit from life coaching?

The answer is simply-complex. The short answer is because you are in pain and you need to find more effective and healthier ways to cope with that pain and with the complicated challenges of caring about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Phoenix Rising Publication

In my work as a lifecoach many non borderline clients have given me the feedback that they experience the support, understanding, and validation of their own challenges to be central to finding their way to the kind of change that they need to work to create in their lives, whether they are staying in a relationship, or in contact with the borderline in their lives or not.

While there are many avenues of support when one is in a confused and emotionally painful and difficult situation it is important to confide in someone with a deep understanding of Borderline Personality Disorder.


Borderline Personality Disorder is a very complex mental illness that profoundly effects not only those who are diagnosed with it but anyone and everyone that cares and/or loves them.

As a life coach I am a change-agent. I have found my way, personally in my own life, through the many mazes on both sides of Borderline Personality Disorder. I understand the pain and the process that must be navigated in order to win the emotional freedom, whether one remains in relationship and contact to the borderline in their life or not.

Family members, loved ones, parents of adult children with BPD, adult children of a borderline parent, ex or relationship partners of those with BPD all have one thing in common – the pain that is living on the other side of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

You can claim your emotional freedom. You can get back in touch with a yourself, a self that you may feel you are either losing or that you may have already lost. You can find your way back to the you that you were before the pain of the enigmatic roller-coaster toxic relational dynamic with someone with BPD in your life.

What you need is change. What you specifically need is change in your own life. If you are in pain and suffering yourself, you need to create change in yourself. You won’t find the emotional freedom, the healing, and the relief that you seek through trying to rescue the borderline in your life.

You cannot change or rescue or fix the person you care or love that has BPD – no matter what you do or how hard you try.

© A.J Mahari, September 13, 2008 – All rights reserved.


Life Coaching For Family Members of with a Borderline Loved One