With 32 years of experience working with people in recovery and healing from trauma bonded relationships (of any type) with a person with Borderline Personality or Narcissistic Personality Disorder or co-morbidly both, A.J. Mahari, can help you to let go,
Borderline Entitlement | Internal Split Projected Out
Borderline Entitlement Internal Original Split Projected Out leaves so many feeling blamed and shamed by someone with BPD in their lives as if how the person with BPD abused and/or manipulate you is how you treated them. People with Borderline
Have BPD? Transference in Therapy – What You Need To Know
For many with Borderline Personality working hard in therapy and building trust with a therapist is not an easy journey or process. To then, when you trust enough, to get to transference, where a therapist needs to meet you with
Ghosted by a Quiet Borderline
The person who manifests Borderline Personality Disorder in an internalizing “quiet borderline” way often discards, ghosts suddenly without warning in one or two ways. The first way is they simply leave you without any warning, conversation, closure and for so
Borderline Personality Recovery – Find The Real You
People with BPD can recover. No one can save you or rescue you but you can – choose to get into therapy and stick with it. Psychiatry’s narrative and younger generations of people with BPD being told they cannot recover
BPD Triggers are Gateways To Recovery
Many with Borderline Personality spend much of their lives running and hiding from triggers. Some refuse therapy. Others struggle to engage it. Why? Because of the fear of the feelings – painful, scary overwhelming feelings that trigger them to emotional
Codependency vs Covert Narcissists
Codependents are not narcissists and narcissists – specifically the “pretending” to be “codependent” cover narcissists are not actually codependent. Many people have various differing opinions on this. I can see where some are coming from. However, just because to a
Key To Recovery After a Borderline or Narcissist
Many disagree as to what an Empath is versus a Codependent. Many psychologists note that empaths have codependency and are codependents. Some will say empaths have codependent tendencies. This debate back and forth really misses the central point. That is,
Borderlines Intensity and Urge to Merge
It is common for many with Borderline Personality (untreated people with BPD or those in denial) to not only have intense emotions, intense and frequent mood shifts, but also for them to engage others in ways that lower or push
Why Borderlines Abandon You
People have heard or experienced a lot when it comes to Borderline Personality Disorder and abandonment trauma. What many loved ones, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, husbands or wives are finding out in very painful and traumatic ways is that many people
Update – CPTSD Autoimmune Recovery & Complex Grief
My update on my health and more in my down-to-earth casual, no doubt “out of the box” ‘road less traveled’ this way style on a casual early evening, work day complete and mellow relaxed go-with-the-flow in autonomic nervous system (ANS)
BPD Suicide – An Epidemic
Losing a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder to completed suicide happens all-too-often for so many people. Statistics continue to indicate that 10% of all people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder will commit suicide. There is not way to measure
Complex Complicated Grief – Finding Peace in The Silence
When a loved one dies, by suicide, or a sudden illness or accident, something especially not expected, grief is usually understood now to be complex and complicated grief. What that means is that people experiencing complex and complicated grief stay
Why BPD Narrative Sets Up Loved Ones – Devaluation Ends Relationships
The narrative of many people with Borderline Personality sets up loved ones – validate – understand – BPD splitting – Devaluation ends relationships. People with BPD are (often subconsciously) seeking rescue. They don’t see you, they don’t attach to you.
When Trauma Leads To Autoimmune Disorders – My Rapid WeightGain and Complex Grief
My partner of almost 5 years, who had Borderline Personality Disorder, quiet/high functioning (hidden from me) that I did not know, committed suicide last December 2018. This was and remains traumatic for me. And, this followed a two-year period where
After Narcissistic or Borderline Abuse – Difficulty of Finding Support and Understanding
Known as Cluster B Personality Disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM 5) the “bible of psychiatry” (for what it is worth) includes Borderline Personality, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Anti-Social Personality Disorder (psychopaths & sociopaths). These diagnoses are not
Borderline Manipulation
Manipulation, by a high percentage of people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, is not as unintentional often as was once the case and/or believed by many to be the case. Even I have often, over many years online (since 1995)
Loved Ones of BPD Protect Your Health When Borderline Rages
Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder are triggered often, causing the idealization split to rapidly become a devaluing split that comes with the emotional dysregulation of externalized aggression, RAGE. After the suicide of my partner, 4 months ago, today, I
When a Borderline Partner Commits Suicide – 4 Months Since She Took Her Life
After the suicide of my partner, 4 months ago, today, I have experienced intense grief, sleep deprivation, severe stress, conflicting emotions the list of which I could never complete or do justice here. This traumatic loss has left me with
BPD Apology & Hoover “Apology”
The Borderline Apology can be felt but for many with BPD it won’t change their behavior or have consistent meaning. People with BPD can mean they are sorry but often apologize to “make things okay” and resent it later feeling