Are you a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or loved one of someone with BPD or NPD, a Codependent and you feel like a victim? Are you a victim? Feeling like a victim equals suffering.
Toxic relationships seem to be pervasive to the point where healthy relationships are in the minority. Toxic relationships are proliferating and have been doing so for the better part of the last few decades. Toxic relationships are the coming together
Loved ones, especially partners, of those with BPD, need to know more and understand more about the false self in Borderline Personality Disorder and how it can leave you feeling empathy, sorry for, and/or guilty about your reactions or feelings to the person in your life with BPD. The Borderline False Self can leave your head screaming “get out” and your heart not knowing how to let go of a relationship.
Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari, on video, on the subject of non borderlines, loved ones of those with BPD, partners, and family members having compassion for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Why is compassion for those with BPD important? What makes it challenging for those who are non borderline? Can compassion be confused with enabling and rescuing? Does compassion or lack thereof have anything to do with what you are experiencing from your borderline loved one? Can you or should you have compassion in the face of abuse, borderline rage, borderline splitting, on-again, off-again, cyclical and toxic relationships?
Many people who email A.J Mahari, and many of her Life Coaching clients who are loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners or on-again, off-again partners of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder are asking her about validation. Does it help if you, as a loved one of someone with BPD, learn how to validate and support the person with BPD in your life in how they are feeling and what they are communicating?
Non Borderlines, Loved ones of those with Borderline Personality, need their own recovery. Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari talks about this in her latest video about Borderline Personality Disorder for non borderlines. Most people think that it is just people with BPD that need recovery when the truth of the matter is that Borderline Personality Disorder, and the dynamics it manifests in all forms of relationships means that both those with BPD and those who know them are affected and often in negative, confusing, and painful ways.
Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari now has her Thought Changing Affirmations Handbooks 5 Volume Set available. Through the use of these positive affirmations, one a day, or one a week, you can learn to change your negative painful thoughts into more positive pain-neutral and/or happy contented thoughts. Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve. If you want and need to stop suffering and to experience more peace, more calm, less to eventually no emotional dysregulation in your life than Mahari’s 5 Volume Set of Changing Your Thought Positive Affirmation Handbooks will be invaluable to you in your recovery process. A natural way to help empower your own recovery. A natural way that you have control over to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. You will feel so much better about yourself. Thoughts define our experience. What you think really controls what you experience, your pain, difficulty in relating to others, in relationships, in knowing who you are and so much more. It is all generated by the rigid thought patterns you’ve built up from a very young age and added to over the years. Affirmations might sound silly, or hardly like a hopeful solution to improve the quality of your life, but take it from Mahari who not only knows this and witnesses incredible change in the clients she coaches but she knows this first hand having recovered from BPD in 1995.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) until recently was reluctant to reveal the source of its funding. But thanks to Sen. Grassley we now can learn NAMI’s sources for Major Foundation and Corporate Support, which you can find here.
Adultchildrecoveryaudio1 Author, Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach, recovered borderline, and adult child of two parents with BPD (one parent with BPD/NPD), A.J. Mahari has a new audio to help you to start and/or continue your own recovery. Learn effective tools and skills and boundaries to take back your own life. Learn to eliminate toxic guilt and feeling obligated to a personality-disordered parent.
Speaking not only as a Life Coach, BPD, and mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari emphasizes to you, if you are adult child of a parent with BPD, NPD, or any personality disorder (or combination of said) that you need your own recovery. Children do learn what they live. A great deal of the inter-generational suffering of those who were the children of a personality disordered parent or parents has to do with the toxic legacy of not resolving issues such as codependence, enmeshment, toxic relating, chaotic and unhealthy relationships with one’s parent(s). There is a legacy to having been the child of a personality disordered parent or parents and A.J. Mahari knows this all-too-well in her own personal life as well having had a mother with BPD and a father with BPD/NPD. Personality Disordered parents are not emotionally available and children are negatively impacted as a result. Adult children of a personality disordered parent or parents need their own recovery.
Loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners of those with Borderline Personality Disorder are often confused, in pain, and struggling to cope with a loved one with BPD. Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach A.J. Mahari was interviewed on the healthyplace.com Mental Health TV Show on the subject of BPD Loved ones and Coping with someone in your life with BPD. This interview has been broken up into three parts to fit on youtube. You can watch the there excerpts of this interview below or by going to my YouTube Channel
Borderline Personality Disorder may still be diagnosed more in women than men. What does this mean? It is unlikely that fewer men have Borderline Personality Disorder. It is likely that the numbers aren’t as skewed as many believe, or as stereotypes and stigma forward. There is a bias among most who diagnosed mental illness. Many men who may in fact have BPD can end up being diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) instead. I have many clients who are men with Borderline Personality Disorder. What is often over-looked is that young children have needs. Needs that must be addressed sufficiently in order for psychologically and spiritually healthy emotional development regardless of gender.
Author, Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari will be interviewing Dr. Judith P. Siegel, Ph.D., LCSW, on Wednesday September 1, 2010 at 6pm EST on her Psyche Whisperer Radio Show Do you overreact to many things emotionally?
Are you normal? Do the concepts of Mental Health and Mental Illness serve any purpose other than to divide people arbitrarily and cause people shame that alienates them from themselves? Does psychiatry today, and more specifically biopsychiatry even believe that anyone is or can be normal? What is normal? Many argue that biopsychiatry – the direction the psychiatric profession is taking in defining mental illlness as “brain disorder” or “brain disease” and then seeking to treat it with all kinds of medications, many that do way more harm than good, is predicated on labeling almost everyone with something which calls into question just what disordered means. Dr. John Breeding Ph.D. was my guest on The Psyche Whisperer Radio Show, Wednesday August 4th, live at 3pm EST. You can now listen to the archived interview here. Dr. Breeding talked about, among other things, psychiatric oppression and what mental health consumers really do need to know and think more about when it comes to what mental illness is and how it can be most effectively treated and coped with if it even is what it is thought by so many people to be. What are the implications of biopsychiatry for people given the label and diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Life Coach, Author, BPD and Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari invites you to join her on her newest website, Beyond Borderline Personality with an open mind. There is a lot to be gained from thinking outside of the status quo box that is the “medical” or “biological” model that is a pseudo-science attempt on the part of mainstream psychiatry today, particularly in the United States, to explain a diagnostic category that in and of itself, can be questioned in many ways. Borderline Personality is a flawed stereotypical pathologizing of stigma against too many people, too many women, to what end? What happens when we challenge the status quo?
Life Coach, and Author, A.J. Mahari, invites you to join her on a new website, new Facebook Page and a new online support community designed to help you get on or move further along the path that is the journey beyond Borderline Personality, whether you’ve been diagnosed with it or are a loved one trying to cope. It is possible to get beyond borderline personality. A.J. Mahari knows because she, personally, got beyond borderline personality 15 years ago.
Is Borderline Personality Disorder a “brain disease”? Are the many mental illnesses now being labeled by some psychatrists – not all – who are forwarding biopsychiatry – often referred to as “biobabble”? What reason other than the big Pharma drug push in the United States does psychiatry have for this (in the eyes of some psychiatrists and psychologists) pseudo-science? A.J. Mahari interviews Dr. Niall McLaren and Australian psychiatrist and author of “Humanizing Psychiatry” and “Humanizing Madness” on The Psyche Whisperer Radio Show Friday July 23, 2010 7pm EST.
Does Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker meet the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder? This was a questions posed, for some reason, and for an even less understandable reason answered by Eric Bui and colleagues at Toulouse University Hospital in France in what has been described as “a brazen act of arm-chair diagnosis”. Who does this serve? Who does this help – anyone? What is the meaning of this? Does it matter? It might mislead loved ones of those with BPD in unhelpful ways.
A.J. Mahari recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder 15 years ago, in 1995. She is working on a memoir about that recovery. A.J. Mahari first heard those three words, Borderline Personality Disorder, in the dark ages of “treatment”, in 1975. At a time when most mental health professionals deemed Borderline Personality Disorder untreatable and spared little time in banishing those diagnosed with it. Borderline Personality Disorder were three key words that would profoundly effect her life that, at the time, seemed screamingly-quiet words that meant nothing and that quickly faded into an obscurity that mirrored her own lostness.
The rise in the prescribing of medication by many in the psychiatric profession has turned psychobabble: “writing or talk using jargon from psychiatry or psychotherapy” (dictionary.com) into biobabble: “knee-jerk biological determinism” (Kathleen H. Dockett, G. Rita Dudley-Grant, and C. Peter Bankart – authors of the book, Psychology and Buddhism: From Individual to Global Community (International and Cultural Psychology) What do you think? How can you find your way to effective and safe treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder or other forms of mental illness if you don’t stop to consider the pharmaceutical agenda that drives biobabble?