BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, responds to a mother of a daughter with Borderline Personality Disorder about coping with her daughter’s splitting, acting in and acting out and her concern for her grandson along with her own pain. Loved ones of
Does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder mean recovering lost relationships, friendships, or even family connections? In my experience the answer is often – no. It is important to grieve, let go and move on and to learn from past failed interpersonal dynamics so that they are not repeated in the future. What was then, was then. This is now. There are new people to meet, new relationships to forge and a recovered borderline has him/herself to fall back on in the meantime. Trying to turn back time can mean risking your recovery. It can mean falling back into old unhealthy patterns of relating. This, along with the reality of too much damage often done when one has BPD, means that moving forward is not only best for those you have hurt in the past, but it is also best for you as you continue to build your new life in recovery from BPD.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often are not consciously aware of it but they want to be rescued and they want you – the family member, the loved one, the relationship partner – the non borderline – to rescue them.