Borderlines are incapable of intimacy which leaves loved ones and family members – non borderlines -experiencing borderline push-pull which can be crazy-making. By the very nature of BPD, borderlines as the result of their defense mechanisms of splitting, projection, and narcissism, can’t help but push-pull. When those with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder try to get close to someone – attain emotional intimacy – they immediately fear engulfment so they push away or push the non borderline away.
Much is being learned about various biological or neuro-biological implications for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Whatever one believes about recent scientific exploration, the jury is still out in terms of proven and agreed upon conclusions. Invalidation in one’s environment, growing up, as a child remains a strong common denominator in the reported experience of most, if not all, who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Invalidation in Borderline Personality Disorder remains a central ingredient in so much of the relational difficulty for those with BPD and their loved ones.
A.J. Mahari was a guest on the Page2Pantry radio show hosted by Niki Guluchi on KPFK on the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) along with a woman, Wendy, who is recovering from having been in a relationship with a man who has BPD.
Borderline behaviour is often compared to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by those who aren’t borderline and experience BPD behaviour from the outside. Is this really a fair and meaningful comparison? What is this comparison trying to illuminate? Is it helpful to non borderlines wanting to better understand BPD?
I am the adult-child of two borderline parents. How can one get closure when the borderline parent(s) don’t get help or ever change? In my experience, nobody said or waved good-bye but the loss had already taken place, oh so long ago.
Family members and (ex) relationship partners – non borderlines – of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) need to understand what is going on in the mind of the loved one with BPD. Learning as much as you can will create a solid foundation that will support the making of decisions necessary for your own mental health and well-being.
The Quiet Borderline is often misunderstood and does not present or come across like the classic “acting out” borderline. A look at how the quiet borderline is different from the “average” borderline.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is treatable. If you have been diagnosed with BPD there is reason to hope. It is not in the comfort zone of many with BPD to trust feeling hope. Hope is not a part of polarized negative thinking. This is what makes hope something so challenging to those with BPD. The absence of hope only further fuels the hallmark of BPD – polarized all-or-nothing black-and-white negative thinking.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the experience of living from one’s false self trapped within the spiral of past losses that obliterate the experience of relational moments in the “here and now”.
It is the acceptance of the paradoxical irony of the core wound of abandonment coupled with the the abandoned pain of BPD that is the very nature of the reality of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is at both its cause and at its epicenter of recovery.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) puts a tremendous strain on even the best or closest relationships. Whether you have a partner – husband or wife, a girlfriend/boyfriend, friends or even a family member with BPD – any or all relationships can be very strained, if not lost, if those who have BPD do not work to heal much of the aspects of how the BPD traits affect them and the ways that they relate to others.
In my experience, when I had BPD, the most profound area of life that was affected by BPD was that of relationships. In my experience with BPD, that was the case right from my relationship to and with myself, to the relationships within my family of origin, friendships and romantic relationships. All were drastically affected by the way in which BPD had manifested itself in me.