If you have a family member who has Borderline Personality Disorder chances are you have, at some point, tried to rescue them. Perhaps you are still trying to rescue them. The notion that we can rescue a family member with BPD is really an illusion. A painful illusion.
Borderline Personality Recovery – Paradox of Pain
In my latest video, Borderline Personality Recovery – Paradox of Pain I talk about how central grasping this and all paradox was to my recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Shifting from the polarized and largely negative mind-set of BPD to a profound understanding of the paradoxical nature of life and specifically of pain I came to realize that pain is, in fact, a sacred teacher.
From Borderline Personality Disorder To Mental Health
Borderlines and Non Borderlines live in different worlds. Different worlds that are parallel emotionally. Non borderlines live, at least, somewhat in the here and now whereas borderlines are often unaware of the here and now because they are re-living the past over and over again.
Borderline Personality Disorder and My Choice To Recover
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
Borderline Diary – ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’
I know why the caged bird sings because I am a caged bird. I am a caged bird that has been singing a song, a song that expresses my longing to be free for years. I long to be free from the cage that is my nutty family. I long to be free from being relegated to the invisible albeit “black sheep” role that they have me stuck in, in their minds. When I left “home” at 17 I thought I would find freedom from their caging me in. Hasn’t happened. Even since I have moved out to go to college I am still in this cage. Everyone is them and their criticism of me is in everyone else. I don’t know who I am but whoever I am I must suck and therefore in my hating them I think I hate myself too.
Borderline Personality – The Surrender of Radical Acceptance
For those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) the surrender of Radical Acceptance can mean the difference between getting on the road to recovery or remaining stuck in the active and very painful throes of BPD.
Borderline Diary – Borderline Father’s Raging Abuse
Borderline Diary – My Borderline Years – My Borderline Father’s Raging Abuse – Most years I was so protected at Christmas. I had learned my lessons well. Our family was well off enough and toys and/or gifts were always aplenty. But what came with those gifts and presents wasn’t quite the opposite of the spirit of the season – quite the opposite of love. It was enmeshed abandoning betrayal served up as “love” – “love” borderline style.
Adult-Child of Borderline Personality Disordered Parents – The Search for Closure
Adult-children of a parent or parents with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are often trapped in very painful, dysfunctional, and toxic relationship with their borderline parent(s). What keeps adult-children trapped in the unhealthy, unrewarding, and toxic relationship is the need for validation that could bring about closure to the gaping wound of abandonment.
Borderline Personality – Enabling Versus Helping
The difference between enabling and helping someone is often one that is blurred in Borderline Personality Disorder. It is blurred by both those diagnosed with BPD and family members, loved ones, relationship partners (ex’s) – non borderlines of those who have BPD.
Those With Borderline Personality Disorder And Hearing What Others Are Saying
If you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) you may well be ignorning or not taking seriously a wealth of information that is available to you. Sometimes the most valuable thing a borderline can do is delay, if not stop, protecting, reacting, and coming to his or her own defense and just sit with what others are saying to you.
Borderline Diary – The First Cut Is The Deepest
Cutting myself feels. Cutting myself makes the feel real. The first cut is the deepest. The first cut is the emotional experience that screws me right up. The first cut comes always from someone else. It isn’t my fault. I don’t do it. I don’t ask for it. People just deliver it to me constantly – treating me like shit.
Borderline Diary – Everyone Is Always Mad at Me
Excerpts From The Diary – My Borderline Years
Everyone is always mad me. What the hell is wrong with them? It seems like everything that happens is somehow tied to me, related to me – my fault. I don’t get it. It drives me crazy. How in the world can they seriously be blaming me for everything that’s always going wrong?
“Brain Disorder” and Borderline Personality
What do professionals mean when they use the words, “brain disorder” when referring to Borderline Personality Disorder? I am not sure that I am clear about this at all. In fact, really, it is as clear as mud when you contrast and compare the various ways that different professionals employ this terminology.
Borderline Personality – The Quiet Acting In Borderline and The Silent Treatment – Nons
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has two distinct dysfunctional relational styles. The “acting-in” style of many with BPD is known as the quiet borderline. The result of relational style of the quiet borderline often culminates in the silent treatment. The best known and recognized style of many with BPD is that of the “acting out” or raging borderline.
Borderline Loss of Self Equals Rage
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality (BPD) have experienced the loss of the authentic self. This loss of self creates a void, a vacuum that then is filled by a fragmented and wounded pseudo-false self. This loss of self is largely, if not entirely, the result of the core wound of abandonment and its legacy.
BPD Family
Some people have BPD in the family whereas I came from a family of BPD. Children do learn what they live. The effects of Borderline Personality Disorder on family members is far-reaching and profound.
Power and Control Struggles in Borderline Personality Disorder
Power and control struggles are at the heart of much of the relating of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. The underpinnings of BPD are firmly established in dysfunctional and polarized distorted thinking that, in relationships, results in power and control struggles with others.
Can Non Borderlines Learn To Speak The Emotional Language of Those With BPD? – Nons
Would a Non Borderline communicating his/her boundaries to a borderline (even he or she could) by attempting to speak the emotional language of the borderline be more successful?
From Fragmented Denial to Understanding, Change and Recovery
The journey from Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD) and Fragmented Denial to Understanding Change and Recovery is the journey from false self to authentic self.
Re-Think Borderline Personality Disorder
I think there is a tremendous need for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder to re-think BPD. I think also that those who are family members, friends, relationship or ex-relationship partners – non borderlines – also need to re-think BPD.
