Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
When I learned about choices and the actual personal power I had to make them I was so angry with the person who sought to teach me about the reality that I had been responsible for making choices all of my life. This man's gift to me – his good deed – did not go unpunished at the time. It was something that it would take me a few years to really come to understand. The walls of my borderline defenses, at that time, were really that thick.
It took time to figure out how to let go of feeling and acting like a victim and of experiencing everything through a small negative, protective, and incredibly fearful wounded inner child from whom I was very disconnected.
In retrospect, it was very difficult for me to realize my own personal responsibility in how I had suffered for so many years. Years of suffering that I had chosen – yes, I had chosen – as unaware of this consciously as I was – still, the fact remains, I had chosen to continue to suffer because it was all that I really knew. It was familiar. It had come to represent, in its absence of safety, the only safety that I had known. I had chosen to suffer because I didn't even know that I could make this sacred choice to face my pain and to get on the road to recovery from BPD.
You see, and if you have BPD, you may know this somewhere inside, you first have to realize, recognize, and take responsibility for the reality that there is something very wrong in your emotional life that likely manifests itself in the way that you relate to your "self" and to others. It really isn't everyone else's fault. It is your responsibility.
Borderline Personality Disorder is not really real in the sense that what it actually is, for the most part, just doesn't have to be. It is, when there is the profound loss of authentic self, largely caused by the core wound of abandonment and its legacy. That's real alright. But what isn't real about it is that it is something other than the unresolved pain that it manifests to protect your from. Borderline Personality is a personality that isn't really real. It isn't really a personality.
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality due to the loss of authentic self caused largely by the core wound of abandonment
Click on the link below to view my video where I talk about how and why I made the choice to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder.
© A.J. Mahari August 2008
A.J. is a Life Coach who, among other things, specializes in working with those with BPD (who are in therapy and/or who have had considerable therapy) and family members, loved ones, relationship and ex-relationship partners (non borderlines) of those with BPD.