For so many, there is, from birth a primal pain, an insecure attachment at best or no bonding and no attachment to mother at worst. This creates, depending upon the infant to toddler’s experience, varying degrees of an intra-psychic injury,
Finding your voice, your authenticity, or more of your authenticity, requires you to seek and remain open to being connected and staying connected to your authentic self emotionally. It is this quest for your own emotional mastery that will teach
Life Coach and Author, A.J. Mahari, poses the question, why is it we need steps to coping with life? Life is difficult. Many do not get the emotional, psychological, and social tools and skills that they need to be on
Borderline Personality Disorder, as it is defined in the DSM-IV, has been way too pathologized. It is going to be even more pathologized in the next edition of the DSM – DSM V due out in 2013. Who does that help?
Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder has two main ingredients, gaining more insight about choices made and learning to make new choices, as well as learning how to take personal responsibility. For those with BPD, taking personal responsibility means facing their abandoned pain understanding that continuing to try to avoid that pain will only keep them stuck. This journey from one’s abandoned pain and a victim mentality that doesn’t “emotionally” understand choices made and new choices that need to be made, is the journey From False Self to Authentic Self.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality (BPD) have experienced the loss of the authentic self. This loss of self creates a void, a vacuum that then is filled by a fragmented and wounded pseudo-false self. This loss of self is largely, if not entirely, the result of the core wound of abandonment and its legacy.
The traits of Borderline Personality Disorder in those diagnosed with BPD manifest themselves as a defensive response to a profoundly deep and enduring hunger. This deeper hunger is brought about by a proliferation of insatiability as the result of the woundedness of that results from the shame of abandonment which has many causes.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is part of a wider continuum of narcissism not the sum total of it all. NPD is not the sole domain of narcissism. Narcissism, to varying degrees, is also a part of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Narcissism is a primitive defense mechanism common to both personality disorders though not manifested exactly the same and not serving the exact same purpose always. Narcissism in BPD is not as extreme as it is in NPD. However, that distinction made there are many people who are diagnosed with both personality disorders. Both NPD and BPD can co-exist within an individual.
“I hate you, don’t leave me” is a borderline mantra. It is a theme driven by a lack of known true self and primitive fear and anxiety generated by profound intrapsychic wounds in early developmental years by those later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This dance or dynamic of pathological regressed relating on the part of those with BPD is the root cause of so much pain for those with BPD and those who love and care about them in relationships. It is a central causative reality as to why so many relationships fail.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a breading ground for self harm. Self mutilation and all forms of self harm make up the borderline language of pain. Cutting, burning, impulsive sex, impuslive shopping, overeating or undereating are all examples of self harm that many with Borderline Personality Disorder engage in.
Self-mutilation, for many who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is a learned language of profound pain. It is a primordial scream for help. It is the apex of needing to be heard, validated, and soothed. It is one of the most prolific and anguished expressions of borderline pain. It is self-defeating and holds you hostage to the pain of the false self — to the pain that you can’t heal by further wounding your body and your precious soul.
Abandonment has often been thought of by many to be of a physical nature – as in desertion and neglect or primarily of an emotional nature – as in when a child is not nurtured or given the necessary attention and healthy love to feel safe and secure.
Both of these situations or realities do constitute forms of abandonment. There are other types of abandonment that are often significant in the lives of those who end up diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.
If one has experienced the most prolific and painful wound of all, the core wound of abandonment without any balance for that experience, any subsequent loss and/or abandonment in life can turn your life upside down. Each and every loss or abandonment is experienced as it happens with the added pain of layers and layers of repressed pain and unresolved grief.