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A.J. Mahari, Life, BPD and Toxic Relationship Coach talks about what is at the center of toxic relationship/relational dynamics along with other issues – a fear of being alone and/or an inability to be alone – a profound, primal, loneliness that goes back to your early childhood. This loneliness is associated with very deep, profound and primitive (early childhood) pain. Often childhood pain that is caused by abandonment trauma. The kind of trauma experienced in early childhood when secure bonding is not successfully taking place between mother (main care-give) and child. It needs to be addressed, you need to grow in your awareness of the loneliness of unresolved abandonment wounds and/or trauma.  Overcoming Loneliness is a journey that can teach you how to get in touch with what it all really means and why it hurts and how you can change from being profoundly sad and lonely deep inside and in toxic relational/relationship patterns by healing this original pain that is felt as loneliness that so many in toxic relationships will do just about anything to avoid facing and working to heal.

So many people have abandonment wounds, of varying degrees, from their childhoods, painful unresolved childhood abandonment issues that are a catalyst for re-playing out what are known as repetition compulsions in our adult relationships and this is another key element of what is at the heart of toxic relationships and toxic relating – fearing being alone, not coping with being alone, not liking yourself enough to enjoy being alone and so settling instead for the distraction of the painful and relentless cycles of the engrained patterns of the emotional chaos and often abuse of toxic on-again, off-again, relationships.

Change is truly possible. It is a process. It is a journey. I am a Life Coach and work with people to help them create meaningful lasting healing change in their lives to help them heal toxic relational dynamics and unhook from these types of relationships and/or friendships – family relationships. It means learning to cope with unaddressed pain, process it and grieve it and then reap the rewards from letting go of past hurt and woundedness. Create the change you want and need in your life to break free from toxic relating, and toxic relationships. I did it, so too, can you.

© A.J Mahari, April 7, 2012 – All rights reserved.


Loneliness and Toxic Relationships