For anyone who is a family member, relationship or ex-relationship partner of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (often referred to as non borderlines) there is a central painful paradox that is a common experience.
“Brain Disorder” and Borderline Personality
What do professionals mean when they use the words, “brain disorder” when referring to Borderline Personality Disorder? I am not sure that I am clear about this at all. In fact, really, it is as clear as mud when you contrast and compare the various ways that different professionals employ this terminology.
Borderline Personality – The Quiet Acting In Borderline and The Silent Treatment – Nons
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has two distinct dysfunctional relational styles. The “acting-in” style of many with BPD is known as the quiet borderline. The result of relational style of the quiet borderline often culminates in the silent treatment. The best known and recognized style of many with BPD is that of the “acting out” or raging borderline.
Borderline Loss of Self Equals Rage
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality (BPD) have experienced the loss of the authentic self. This loss of self creates a void, a vacuum that then is filled by a fragmented and wounded pseudo-false self. This loss of self is largely, if not entirely, the result of the core wound of abandonment and its legacy.
Is Borderline Behaviour Due To The “Illness” of Borderline Personality – The Brain Disorder?
Is borderline behaviour due to the “illness” of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? Is it caused by the brain? Whose responsibility does this way of thinking make it? What happens to the concept of personal responsibility?
Borderline Personality Disorder and Unrealistic Expectations
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), regardless of what is thought to cause it, manifests as a relational disorder. Those with BPD often have unrealistic expectations. This disorder of relating is largely driven by distorted thoughts and unrealistic expectations.
Borderline – Non Borderline Common Ground
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and their family members, relationship partners – non borderlines – have intersecting reality where common ground is encountered. This common ground, however, is not experienced in the same way by the borderline and the non borderline.
Borderline Personality Disorder Is Treatable
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is treatable. If you have been diagnosed with BPD there is reason to hope. It is not in the comfort zone of many with BPD to trust feeling hope. Hope is not a part of polarized negative thinking. This is what makes hope something so challenging to those with BPD. The absence of hope only further fuels the hallmark of BPD – polarized all-or-nothing black-and-white negative thinking.
Splitting and The Non Borderline Experience of BPD
Splitting is a primitive defense mechanism that borderlines routinely enact when they are triggered by events/emotions in the here and now that threaten their feeling anything to do with their original core wound of abandonment and the intrapsychic trauma associated with that abandonment.
Ending a Relationship With Someone With BPD – Contact or No Contact? – Nons
Ending a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder means having to figure out what to do about having contact or going no contact.
Can Non Borderlines Learn To Speak The Emotional Language of Those With BPD? – Nons
Would a Non Borderline communicating his/her boundaries to a borderline (even he or she could) by attempting to speak the emotional language of the borderline be more successful?
Personal Responsibility Central To Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often struggle to understand the concept and practice of taking personal responsibility. Personal responsibility must be realized and accepted by those with BPD if they are to recover.
Are Borderlines Abandoned or Do They Abandon Others?
Abandonment in relationships with adults with Borderline Personality Disorder – are borderlines abandoned or do they abandon others?
The Deeper Hunger of the Borderline – Affect Hunger and The Shame of Abandonment
The traits of Borderline Personality Disorder in those diagnosed with BPD manifest themselves as a defensive response to a profoundly deep and enduring hunger. This deeper hunger is brought about by a proliferation of insatiability as the result of the woundedness of that results from the shame of abandonment which has many causes.
The Circles That Surround The Epicentre of Borderline Personality Disorder
There are countless circles that surround the epicentre of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These circles are, in large part, dangerous distractions for those who have been diagnosed with BPD.
Borderline Self-Harm/Self-Mutilation Serves as a Defense To Unresolved Abandonment Trauma
For many who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) self harm and/or self mutilation are maladaptive or pathological attempts to ward off the repressed pain of unresolved abandonment trauma that lies at the heart of BPD.
The Traps and Hooks of Unwinding the Mystery that is the Process of Letting Go – Non Borderlines
For those who are the family member, relationship partner or (ex-partner) of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – non borderlines – there are countless traps and hooks in the need and even the want of letting go of a relationship (chosen or unchosen) with someone with BPD. A.J. Mahari explains in her audio program series Inside the Borderline Mind many of the puzzle pieces of the enigma that so many non borderlines find make letting go of a relationship with a borderline much more difficult than other relationship break-ups.
Non Borderlines Trying to Understand Borderline Magical Thinking
What is Magical Thinking In BPD?
Magical thinking is essentially adhering to the (distorted) belief that thoughts can cause events. When someone with BPD is magically thinking and thoughts seem to cause events what is also often a part of this experience for the borderline is that what they feel becomes a fact to him or her in what is a distorted sense of “reality”.
May is BPD Awareness Month in the United States
May has been declared as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Awareness Month in the United States. I think this is very important. I hope that my country, Canada, and others will follow in supporting raising awareness of and about Borderline Personality
The Borderline Dance & The Non Borderline Quagmire
There is a central truth about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is a truth that is all-too real and painful for both those diagnosed with BPD and those who are family members, relationship partners (ex – relationship partners) children or parents or friends of those with BPD (non borderlines).
Borderline Personality Disorder creates layered situations from which extrication is very difficult. This is true for the borderline or the non borderline.
There is a dance that takes place between those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder(borderlines) and those who try to relate to them (non borderlines). It is painful. The reality of Borderline Personality Disorder in a loved one, partner, family member, or friend, sets up a toxic and painful quagmire for the non borderline.
