For those who are the family member, relationship partner or (ex-partner) of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – non borderlines – there are countless traps and hooks in the need and even the want of letting go of a relationship (chosen or unchosen) with someone with BPD.
Letting go of a relationship that has ruptured with the person with BPD in your life not only presents many difficult challenges to most non borderlines but this letting go also unfolds a mystery of puzzle pieces that don’t seem to fit together. This enigma that is, more often than not, an inability to achieve resolution with the borderline can keep a non borderline stuck, trapped, and held hostage to a type of emotional pain that rather than decrease upon the end of a relationship actually increases until and unless the non borderline can effectively learn what it takes to truly Break Free From The BPD Maze and find their way to what is now being referred to as non-borderline recovery.
I talk about this in my latest video below and I would also invite you to check out my Audio Programs and/or my Ebooks to learn more about how to unravel the quest for a resolution and even to a degree an understanding of why what is happening for you on the other side of someone with BPD is happening or why what has happened – has really happened.
As someone who had BPD and then recovered only to end up in an relationship with someone with BPD (and NPD) six years after that recovery, I know the pain of being on the non borderline side. I write about this relationship and all that it taught me and how I have been able to heal from it and leave it behind in my ebook Full Circle – Lessons for Non Borderlines which features over 85+ lessons that can aid non borderlines in letting go of the borderline and the constant quest, focus, sometimes even obsession of trying to make some sense out of it all.
Non borderlines will benefit greatly from as much understanding about the parallel and twisted "reality" that unwinds itself Inside The Borderline Mind but also must find a healthy balance between this quest for a greater understanding of everything borderline and the need to be as aware of one’s own needs, responsibility, and issues as possible.
A.J. Mahari, in her life coaching work, specializes in, among other things, working with non borderlines who are having difficulty moving on after a relationship with someone with BPD ends or was ended by the borderline. She also works extensively with those who have borderline relatives and are feeling trapped in unhealthy relational patterns in those types of unchosen relationships with borderlines.
© A.J. Mahari – May 23, 2008 – All rights reserved.