Many loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder need to unhook from what has become a toxic relational dynamic. A relational dynamic and experience that threatens non borderlines with a loss of self that often leads them not only to be stressed out but also to become more reactionary and in some ways mirror the behaviour of the person in their lives with BPD.
Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, a woman who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder over a decade ago, talks about various issues of Borderline Personality Disorder for those with BPD and for family members, loved ones, ex or relationships partners of those with BPD (non borderlines) in audio segments on her website.
For those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) the surrender of Radical Acceptance can mean the difference between getting on the road to recovery or remaining stuck in the active and very painful throes of BPD.
A.J., I have been so blessed by what I’ve read on your websites. Recently I had to leave a destructive BP relationship – leaving the state in which we lived – I wrote a letter just before leaving to his lovely family who was also aware of the condition. Basically, I broke up with him right after in a “hoover” maneuver he finally researched BPD and accepted it (or so I thought but more abuse and insanity followed)
I was married to a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope my experience will help some other non-borderline to get out early while the damage can be contained. My experience goes back to Norwood, MA in the spring of 1998 and ends with a divorce decree in Trenton, NJ from my complaint filed under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(c); grounds of “Extreme Cruelty.”
For anyone who is a family member, relationship or ex-relationship partner of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (often referred to as non borderlines) there is a central painful paradox that is a common experience.