Parents of a teen or adult-child who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder often feel guilty. There are cases where there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse, and then there are cases where someone who did the best they could and did not abuse a child ends up with a teen or young adult-child who is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder experience what I call a Puzzle and Mystery of Hope On the Other Side of BPD. There are many faces to hope for those who are non borderlines. This audio program includes a Non Borderline Meditation/Relaxation – Finding Emotional Peace.
If you have a family member who has Borderline Personality Disorder chances are you have, at some point, tried to rescue them. Perhaps you are still trying to rescue them. The notion that we can rescue a family member with BPD is really an illusion. A painful illusion.
Abandonment trauma, regardless of the cause or causes of Borderline Personality Disorder is the most central issue that borderlines grapple with, sometimes on a daily basis.
Do you have someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder? A.J. Mahari has resources that can help you understand. Are you trying to fix or rescue your borderline? Do you need to know more about BPD? Do you have questions about the quiet borderline, splitting, abandonment and BPD, love and BPD? Do you need to let go?
Family members and (ex) relationship partners – non borderlines – of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) need to understand what is going on in the mind of the loved one with BPD. Learning as much as you can will create a solid foundation that will support the making of decisions necessary for your own mental health and well-being.
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
Borderline Personality Disorder causes tremendous loss. This is an ode to my loss. A loss that though grieved and healed beyond BPD still requires on-going expression from time to time.
I know why the caged bird sings because I am a caged bird. I am a caged bird that has been singing a song, a song that expresses my longing to be free for years. I long to be free from the cage that is my nutty family. I long to be free from being relegated to the invisible albeit “black sheep” role that they have me stuck in, in their minds. When I left “home” at 17 I thought I would find freedom from their caging me in. Hasn’t happened. Even since I have moved out to go to college I am still in this cage. Everyone is them and their criticism of me is in everyone else. I don’t know who I am but whoever I am I must suck and therefore in my hating them I think I hate myself too.
Borderline Diary – My Borderline Years – My Borderline Father’s Raging Abuse – Most years I was so protected at Christmas. I had learned my lessons well. Our family was well off enough and toys and/or gifts were always aplenty. But what came with those gifts and presents wasn’t quite the opposite of the spirit of the season – quite the opposite of love. It was enmeshed abandoning betrayal served up as “love” – “love” borderline style.
A.J., I have been so blessed by what I’ve read on your websites. Recently I had to leave a destructive BP relationship – leaving the state in which we lived – I wrote a letter just before leaving to his lovely family who was also aware of the condition. Basically, I broke up with him right after in a “hoover” maneuver he finally researched BPD and accepted it (or so I thought but more abuse and insanity followed)
I was married to a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope my experience will help some other non-borderline to get out early while the damage can be contained. My experience goes back to Norwood, MA in the spring of 1998 and ends with a divorce decree in Trenton, NJ from my complaint filed under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(c); grounds of “Extreme Cruelty.”
This is the journey of a man who is the father of two daughters. One, his oldest, had Borderline Personality Disorder. His youngest daughter does not.
Adult-children of a parent or parents with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are often trapped in very painful, dysfunctional, and toxic relationship with their borderline parent(s). What keeps adult-children trapped in the unhealthy, unrewarding, and toxic relationship is the need for validation that could bring about closure to the gaping wound of abandonment.
Some people have BPD in the family whereas I came from a family of BPD. Children do learn what they live. The effects of Borderline Personality Disorder on family members is far-reaching and profound.
Is borderline behaviour due to the “illness” of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? Is it caused by the brain? Whose responsibility does this way of thinking make it? What happens to the concept of personal responsibility?
“I hate you, don’t leave me” is a borderline mantra. It is a theme driven by a lack of known true self and primitive fear and anxiety generated by profound intrapsychic wounds in early developmental years by those later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This dance or dynamic of pathological regressed relating on the part of those with BPD is the root cause of so much pain for those with BPD and those who love and care about them in relationships. It is a central causative reality as to why so many relationships fail.