Borderlines are incapable of intimacy which leaves loved ones and family members – non borderlines -experiencing borderline push-pull which can be crazy-making. By the very nature of BPD, borderlines as the result of their defense mechanisms of splitting, projection, and narcissism, can’t help but push-pull. When those with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder try to get close to someone – attain emotional intimacy – they immediately fear engulfment so they push away or push the non borderline away.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Coach, Mental Health and Life Coach, and author, A.J. Mahari has a new mircoblog, Ask The BPD Coach, where she answers questions about BPD from those who have BPD and loved ones – partners and family members of those with BPD. Are there aspects of BPD that you’d like to know more about?
Loved Ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder need more awareness. Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, poses a few questions for family members or loved ones of borderlines to think about in video from her BPD Inside Out Video Podcast .
People diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder have difficulty emotionally identifying what they want and what they need and the difference between wants and needs.
Some people have BPD in the family whereas I came from a family of BPD. Children do learn what they live. The effects of Borderline Personality Disorder on family members is far-reaching and profound.
Power and control struggles are at the heart of much of the relating of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. The underpinnings of BPD are firmly established in dysfunctional and polarized distorted thinking that, in relationships, results in power and control struggles with others.
I think there is a tremendous need for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder to re-think BPD. I think also that those who are family members, friends, relationship or ex-relationship partners – non borderlines – also need to re-think BPD.
Abandonment in relationships with adults with Borderline Personality Disorder – are borderlines abandoned or do they abandon others?
The black hole of BPD affects both borderlines and non-borderlines. It is painful and real on both sides of Borderline Personality Disorder. The shame of abandonment is an enduring self-destructive schema for those with BPD. It is a pattern of toxic relating and relationship rupture.