Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder has two main ingredients, gaining more insight about choices made and learning to make new choices, as well as learning how to take personal responsibility. For those with BPD, taking personal responsibility means facing their abandoned pain understanding that continuing to try to avoid that pain will only keep them stuck. This journey from one’s abandoned pain and a victim mentality that doesn’t “emotionally” understand choices made and new choices that need to be made, is the journey From False Self to Authentic Self.
Tough love can be very effective for those with loved ones with Borderline Personality Disorder. It is important to approach tough love in a way that is not polarized or absolute. In part two of her video podcast on the subject of tough love for loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder, author, speaker, life coach and strategist, A.J. Mahari, speaking to a group of Loved Ones of those with BPD, talks about the value of tough love and how it was tough love that was at the center of her own recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder 14 years ago.
The human borderline and the non borderline dilemma. What does that mean? Why would I phrase this like this you may wonder? I can’t count the number of times I’ve listened to non borderline clients I life coach or read non borderlines emails where, in their understandable pain and confusion, family members, loved ones, relationship partners of those with BPD – non borderlines – make statements that question the reality of those with Borderline Personality Disorder being human or not.
A.J. Mahari’s 8th ebook on the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder is now available. Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder – The Lost Self – The Impact of the Core Wound of Abandonment © A.J. Mahari, September 2008
Abandonment trauma, regardless of the cause or causes of Borderline Personality Disorder is the most central issue that borderlines grapple with, sometimes on a daily basis.