The many distorted and wounded aspects inside the borderline mind means that there is much for loved ones to learn about the inner-workings of BPD so that they can further understand how to best cope with someone in their lives with Borderline Personality Disorder. What, if anything, do the terms “high-functioning” or “low functioning” applied to Borderline Personality Disorder mean?
Much is being learned about various biological or neuro-biological implications for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Whatever one believes about recent scientific exploration, the jury is still out in terms of proven and agreed upon conclusions. Invalidation in one’s environment, growing up, as a child remains a strong common denominator in the reported experience of most, if not all, who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Invalidation in Borderline Personality Disorder remains a central ingredient in so much of the relational difficulty for those with BPD and their loved ones.
In two videos available exclusively only on A.J.’s Mahari’s website Borderline Personality Disorder From The Inside Out Mahari shares her thoughts about her journey in crossing the bridge between having been borderline to being recovered from BPD and the sacred reality of the pain that must be engaged when one has BPD.
At the heart of the process of recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder is the need to find one’s lost self – an authentic self that has been lost to the core wound of abandonment in BPD. BPD recovery requires first asking the question, Who am I? Secondly, it requires finding the answer to that question.
Many loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder struggle with ways to cope and choices and decisions that have to be made. Is tough love an option for loved ones of those with BPD? Why or why not?
A.J. Mahari was interviewed on the subject of living with Borderline Personality Disorder on the Survivor Cafe Radio Show on blogtalkradio.com
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder have to contend with a deep and profoundly pervasive pain that they often aren’t even consciously aware of. This pain, at the heart of BPD, is the pain of abandonment.
Family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder experience what I call a Puzzle and Mystery of Hope On the Other Side of BPD. There are many faces to hope for those who are non borderlines. This audio program includes a Non Borderline Meditation/Relaxation – Finding Emotional Peace.
Power and control struggles are at the heart of much of the relating of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. The underpinnings of BPD are firmly established in dysfunctional and polarized distorted thinking that, in relationships, results in power and control struggles with others.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is treatable. If you have been diagnosed with BPD there is reason to hope. It is not in the comfort zone of many with BPD to trust feeling hope. Hope is not a part of polarized negative thinking. This is what makes hope something so challenging to those with BPD. The absence of hope only further fuels the hallmark of BPD – polarized all-or-nothing black-and-white negative thinking.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often struggle to understand the concept and practice of taking personal responsibility. Personal responsibility must be realized and accepted by those with BPD if they are to recover.
The black hole of BPD affects both borderlines and non-borderlines. It is painful and real on both sides of Borderline Personality Disorder. The shame of abandonment is an enduring self-destructive schema for those with BPD. It is a pattern of toxic relating and relationship rupture.
Inside the borderline mind there is a very profound split, fragmentation, and in some cases a shattering of the ego due to the narcissistic intrapsychic injury sustained at a very young age as the result of abandonment (actual and/or perceived) that arrests emotional development.
What does every family member, friend, relationship partner, or ex-relationship partner (non borderline) need to know about what goes on inside the borderline mind? Why does understanding the workings of the borderline mind matter to those who are non borderline?
It is the core wound of abandonment in those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is the source of insecure or non-existent attachment that leads to the toxic and unhealthy ruptured relationships that have at their centre emotional enmeshment and an insatiable need for love. These broken relationships, often rupture under the weight of the child-like behaviour and needs of the borderline still searching for the much-needed unconditional acceptance, validation and love of a parent as the result of unmet early childhood developmental needs.