If you, like I am right now, happen to be being targeted by a Narcissistic Personality Disordered bully, in online, as in my case, or in your personal life it’s key that you know to not bite their hooks as
Many loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder need to unhook from what has become a toxic relational dynamic. A relational dynamic and experience that threatens non borderlines with a loss of self that often leads them not only to be stressed out but also to become more reactionary and in some ways mirror the behaviour of the person in their lives with BPD.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be reduced to a series of inter-connected and, at times, elaborate defenses that serve to promote dissociation (or fragmentation) and denial – living in fragments of the past superimposed upon the here and now in and through the borderline false self that makes getting to one’s true essence and lost authentic self like walking backwards through a maze.
The Quiet Borderline is often misunderstood and does not present or come across like the classic “acting out” borderline. A look at how the quiet borderline is different from the “average” borderline.
What is best for you to do if you are in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and you are coming to the conclusion the relationship isn’t working? What do you do if you want to end the relationship? Do you need to institute no contact or is there another way? What is kind and what isn’t kind in this circumstance often experienced as a dilemma for relationship partner of someone with BPD – the non borderline?
If you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) you may well be ignorning or not taking seriously a wealth of information that is available to you. Sometimes the most valuable thing a borderline can do is delay, if not stop, protecting, reacting, and coming to his or her own defense and just sit with what others are saying to you.
It is the acceptance of the paradoxical irony of the core wound of abandonment coupled with the the abandoned pain of BPD that is the very nature of the reality of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is at both its cause and at its epicenter of recovery.
The traits of Borderline Personality Disorder in those diagnosed with BPD manifest themselves as a defensive response to a profoundly deep and enduring hunger. This deeper hunger is brought about by a proliferation of insatiability as the result of the woundedness of that results from the shame of abandonment which has many causes.
The black hole of BPD affects both borderlines and non-borderlines. It is painful and real on both sides of Borderline Personality Disorder. The shame of abandonment is an enduring self-destructive schema for those with BPD. It is a pattern of toxic relating and relationship rupture.
For those who are the family member, relationship partner or (ex-partner) of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – non borderlines – there are countless traps and hooks in the need and even the want of letting go of a relationship (chosen or unchosen) with someone with BPD. A.J. Mahari explains in her audio program series Inside the Borderline Mind many of the puzzle pieces of the enigma that so many non borderlines find make letting go of a relationship with a borderline much more difficult than other relationship break-ups.
Many family members, loved ones, or relationship partners of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) (non borderlines) often think and believe that the borderline in their lives is just seeking attention when they engage in self harm or self-harming behaviour.
It is in and through the dynamic of toxic unhealthy relating and relationships that The Personality Disordered and The Non Personality Disordered Interconnect and Suffer
Toxic relationships seem to be pervasive to the point where healthy relationships are in the minority. Toxic relationships are proliferating and have been doing so for the better part of the last few decades.
Toxic relationships are the coming together of adults, who carry wounded children deep inside of them, and who were raised in dysfunctional families that by their very nature are also toxic.
Toxic relationships are battle-grounds mistaken for what is thought of as “love” in which the personality-disordered and the non-personality disordered come together, intersect, interconnect and increase each other’s pain and suffering no matter how hard they try to make things work. (sometimes both parties in a toxic relationship are in fact personality-disordered)