Do you think that whatever is difficult or beyond difficult in your life first requires some magical answer that will change everything for you? Many people, without realizing it, “think” or feel this way. It is a natural reaction, in
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I was treated for BPD. I recovered from BPD. One thing has remained a constant throughout all the years of my life and all of my healing – I am the adult-child of a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder.
I had BPD and I recovered. My mother and father had BPD and they did not recover at all. I know the pain on both sides of BPD.
Toxic relationships are proliferating in what is a narcissistic cultural landscape. Are these relationships mistakes? If a toxic relationship is a mistake I would argue that once you begin to learn from it and let it teach you that it
Rigid thought patterns in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are one of the central manifestations of all that Borderline Personality is and means in the lives of those who have been diagnosed with it. Loved ones and family members are often hurt and confused by these rigid thought patterns also. BPD Coach A.J. Mahari identifies three main reasons why people with BPD have such rigid thought patterns. These rigid thought patterns actually trap people in the active throes of BPD until and unless they get professional help to begin to learn how to think beyond the constricted magical thinking of a primitive concept of cause and effect. Primitive concepts of cause and effect that along with rigid thought patterns are at the center of The Legacy of Abandonment in BPD A legacy of abandonment that is the central cause of Rage in BPD.
A.J. Mahari, author, Life/BPD/Emotional Mastery Coach educates on the subject of emotional mastery in general, specifically related to those with Borderline Personality Disorder and their loved ones – non borderlines as well as her Emotional Mastery Life Coaching.
Biopsychiatry is all the rage these days isn’t it? How have mental illnesses, like Borderline Personality Disorder, and so many others, suddenly become pathologized beyond belief with a new stigma – “brain disorder” – the message that implies the need for pharmaceuticals. A message that the National Association of Mental Health (NAMI) in the United States has forwarded. As if drugs are, or will someday be, the “cure”. As if drugs are the answer. Says who? Who do you believe?
Borderlines are incapable of intimacy which leaves loved ones and family members – non borderlines -experiencing borderline push-pull which can be crazy-making. By the very nature of BPD, borderlines as the result of their defense mechanisms of splitting, projection, and narcissism, can’t help but push-pull. When those with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder try to get close to someone – attain emotional intimacy – they immediately fear engulfment so they push away or push the non borderline away.
Is there a cure for Borderline Personality Disorder? (BPD) How can you evaluate online information that promises to tell you about a cure if you buy a product or a certain book about a cure? Can you trust pitches that claim to tell you that they can cure BPD? Are they sales pitches or reality? Can loved ones of those with BPD trust pitches that promise to help them save relationships by purchasing information that advertises the cure for BPD or claims that someone has “solved” BPD in some nice neat across-the-board way?
Borderline Personality Disorder Inside Out Audio Podcast by author and Life Coach and BPD/Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari. December 12, 2009 – Emotional Dysregulation in Borderline Personality Disorder.
Emotional dysregulation is at the heart of so much of the way that people with BPD experience daily life. It is also at the heart of how their loved ones experience them. Emotional dysregulation in BPD causes those with BPD a lot of pain and suffering. It often hurts and confuses loved ones as well.
Borderline Personality Disorder Inside Out Audio Podcast by author and Life Coach and BPD/Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari. December 14, 2009 – Loneliness in Borderline Personality Disorder.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder can’t help but experience a profound loneliness in whatever way that manifests for them because they are not connected to any stable sense of self – to the authentic self. This means that people with BPD are not only lonely in the world, they are lonely firstly and foremostly from within – living in and from an internally isolated and disconnected, often alienated, abyss where that sense of self should be.
Posted by A.J. Mahari on November 22, 2009 I have had pets most of my adult life. I am a cat and dog lover. We have laws that require us to vaccinate our pets. Our veterinarians remind us yearly that
Does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder mean recovering lost relationships, friendships, or even family connections? In my experience the answer is often – no. It is important to grieve, let go and move on and to learn from past failed interpersonal dynamics so that they are not repeated in the future. What was then, was then. This is now. There are new people to meet, new relationships to forge and a recovered borderline has him/herself to fall back on in the meantime. Trying to turn back time can mean risking your recovery. It can mean falling back into old unhealthy patterns of relating. This, along with the reality of too much damage often done when one has BPD, means that moving forward is not only best for those you have hurt in the past, but it is also best for you as you continue to build your new life in recovery from BPD.
The View Co-host Joy Behar stigmatized Borderline Personaity Disorder on their Wednesday October 21, 2009 show in an interview with Glenn Close and her sister who were guests to talk about the importance of combating the stigma against mental illness, namely Bioplar Disorder, which Close’s sister has. Joy Behar, for some reason, who knows why, first had to further stigmatize BPD with inaccurate, uneducated information.
Much is being learned about various biological or neuro-biological implications for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Whatever one believes about recent scientific exploration, the jury is still out in terms of proven and agreed upon conclusions. Invalidation in one’s environment, growing up, as a child remains a strong common denominator in the reported experience of most, if not all, who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Invalidation in Borderline Personality Disorder remains a central ingredient in so much of the relational difficulty for those with BPD and their loved ones.
Posted by A.J. Mahari on October 19, 2009 Loneliness is, on one level a universal experience. There is a collective experience, to some degree, by each and every living individual of what it means, from time to time, to be
Does the fact that researchers are continuing to make some kind of progress in neuro-biologically discovering aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder mean that there isn’t hope for recovery? As someone who has recovered from BPD years ago, I know personally that the answer is no. There is every reason to continue to believe, hope, and know, that if you have BPD, you can recover. There is no need for some magical-cure-all pill that may never be able to be developed.
“Using real-time brain imaging, a team of researchers have discovered that patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are physically unable to regulate emotion. The findings, by Harold W. Koenigsberg, MD, professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine suggest individuals with BPD are unable activate neurological networks that would help to control feelings. The research will be published in the journal Biological Psychiatry.”
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Coach, Mental Health and Life Coach, and author, A.J. Mahari has a new mircoblog, Ask The BPD Coach, where she answers questions about BPD from those who have BPD and loved ones – partners and family members of those with BPD. Are there aspects of BPD that you’d like to know more about?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has at its center abandonment. Those diagnosed with BPD have a tremendous and often all-consuming fear of abandonment. They feel or perceive the threat of abandonment in many everyday relational situations. Along with this intense fear of abandonment people with BPD have an equal and intense inability to effectively cope emotionally with this fear of abandonment in ways that would be healthier for relationships.
Borderline Personality Disorder, while a very formidable and serious mental illness, does not have to be a life sentence. It does not have to mean you will always be the way that you are right now or that you will always be unhappy and/or in pain. You do not have to always be where you are right now. Recovery from BPD is possible.