If you have a family member who has Borderline Personality Disorder chances are you have, at some point, tried to rescue them. Perhaps you are still trying to rescue them. The notion that we can rescue a family member with BPD is really an illusion. A painful illusion.
As an Adult Child of Borderline Parents I had to Choose No Contact
As an adult-child of a parent (or in my case parents) with Borderline Personality Disorder the love that is so scarce is toxic and the relationship is enmeshed as the child exists to serve the endless emotional needs of the borderline.
Suicide is Not the Answer to The Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder
For many with Borderline Personality Disorder, suicide, especially in times of triggered dysregulated emotions or loss, can seem like the only solution to end pain that they just do not know how to cope with. Suicide, however, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
DBT Skills-based therapy may curb eating disorders in those with Borderline Personality
Many who have Borderline Personality Disorder suffer from eating disorders. A high percentage are women but some men with BPD also have an eating disorder. Dialectial Behavior Therapy (DBT), according to a pilot study may be effective in helping those with BPD and eating disorders.
Abandonment is Central In Borderline Personality Disorder
Abandonment trauma, regardless of the cause or causes of Borderline Personality Disorder is the most central issue that borderlines grapple with, sometimes on a daily basis.
Resources for Loved Ones & Relationship Partners of Those With Borderline Personality Disorder
Do you have someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder? A.J. Mahari has resources that can help you understand. Are you trying to fix or rescue your borderline? Do you need to know more about BPD? Do you have questions about the quiet borderline, splitting, abandonment and BPD, love and BPD? Do you need to let go?
Borderline Personality Recovery – Paradox of Pain
In my latest video, Borderline Personality Recovery – Paradox of Pain I talk about how central grasping this and all paradox was to my recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Shifting from the polarized and largely negative mind-set of BPD to a profound understanding of the paradoxical nature of life and specifically of pain I came to realize that pain is, in fact, a sacred teacher.
From Borderline Personality Disorder To Mental Health
Borderlines and Non Borderlines live in different worlds. Different worlds that are parallel emotionally. Non borderlines live, at least, somewhat in the here and now whereas borderlines are often unaware of the here and now because they are re-living the past over and over again.
Borderline Splitting & Non Borderlines Inability to Rescue
A major defense mechanism for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder is that of splitting. Non borderlines cannot rescue borderlines. Splitting is one of the central realities in relationship to someone with BPD that hooks, traps, hurts and devastates non borderlines often seeing them try harder and harder to rescue the person with BPD in their lives. A non borderline cannot rescue a borderline.
Borderline Personality Disorder Resources – Canada
bpdresources.ca is a website focusing mainly on Borderline Personality Disorder resources available in Canada with some information from other countries as well. Are you in Canada and do you treat BPD, have a website about BPD or Blog about BPD? If so, I’d sure like to hear from you and include you on bpdresources.ca
Wants and Needs in Borderline Personality Disorder
People diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder have difficulty emotionally identifying what they want and what they need and the difference between wants and needs.
Non Borderline Illusions of Rescuing a Borderline
The typical Non Borderline spends an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to rescue the person with Borderline Personality Disorder in his or her life. Rescuing a person with BPD is an illusion.
The Husband of a Borderline’s Dilemma – The Relationship is over but it can’t be over – yet
What is a husband of to do when he feels that, for the sake of his relationship with his children and for their well-being he cannot leave his relationship with a wife that has Borderline Personality Disorder? While it is easy for anyone to say, hey, if your relationship is over, just get out, the truth is that there are many situations involving children, particularily, where things just aren’t that cut and dry.
Understanding the Borderline Mind – How Borderlines think and what it means for Family Members and Relationship Partners
Family members and (ex) relationship partners – non borderlines – of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) need to understand what is going on in the mind of the loved one with BPD. Learning as much as you can will create a solid foundation that will support the making of decisions necessary for your own mental health and well-being.
The Rupture and Repair of Cooperation in Borderline Personality Disorder – Study Points to Malfunction in the Brain of Those With BPD
Cooperation and/or trust is very difficult, if not next to impossible for those in the active throes of Borderline Personality Disorder. Researchers from Baylor College of Medicine have identified a brain malfunction that they have associated with borderline personality disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder and My Choice To Recover
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
Borderline Reality – An Ode to Loss
Borderline Personality Disorder causes tremendous loss. This is an ode to my loss. A loss that though grieved and healed beyond BPD still requires on-going expression from time to time.
The Quiet Borderline
The Quiet Borderline is often misunderstood and does not present or come across like the classic “acting out” borderline. A look at how the quiet borderline is different from the “average” borderline.
Borderline Personality – I Want You To Rescue Me – So Rescue Me!
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often are not consciously aware of it but they want to be rescued and they want you – the family member, the loved one, the relationship partner – the non borderline – to rescue them.
Borderline Diary – ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’
I know why the caged bird sings because I am a caged bird. I am a caged bird that has been singing a song, a song that expresses my longing to be free for years. I long to be free from the cage that is my nutty family. I long to be free from being relegated to the invisible albeit “black sheep” role that they have me stuck in, in their minds. When I left “home” at 17 I thought I would find freedom from their caging me in. Hasn’t happened. Even since I have moved out to go to college I am still in this cage. Everyone is them and their criticism of me is in everyone else. I don’t know who I am but whoever I am I must suck and therefore in my hating them I think I hate myself too.
