I am the adult-child of two borderline parents. How can one get closure when the borderline parent(s) don’t get help or ever change? In my experience, nobody said or waved good-bye but the loss had already taken place, oh so long ago.
Borderline Personality is not just a Women’s Mental Illness
Borderline Personality Disorder is not a mental illness that afflicts only women. It may seem that only women are diagnosed with BPD because we read and hear much more about the experiences of women and of course more women, still, seek help then do men.
Rescue a Borderline?
So many people with a loved one, family member, or ex or relationship partner with Borderline Personality Disorder get stuck in what is really an illusion that they can rescue the borderline from Borderline Personality Disorder.
The Illusion of Rescue with a Family Member who has Borderline Personality Disorder
If you have a family member who has Borderline Personality Disorder chances are you have, at some point, tried to rescue them. Perhaps you are still trying to rescue them. The notion that we can rescue a family member with BPD is really an illusion. A painful illusion.
As an Adult Child of Borderline Parents I had to Choose No Contact
As an adult-child of a parent (or in my case parents) with Borderline Personality Disorder the love that is so scarce is toxic and the relationship is enmeshed as the child exists to serve the endless emotional needs of the borderline.
Suicide is Not the Answer to The Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder
For many with Borderline Personality Disorder, suicide, especially in times of triggered dysregulated emotions or loss, can seem like the only solution to end pain that they just do not know how to cope with. Suicide, however, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
DBT Skills-based therapy may curb eating disorders in those with Borderline Personality
Many who have Borderline Personality Disorder suffer from eating disorders. A high percentage are women but some men with BPD also have an eating disorder. Dialectial Behavior Therapy (DBT), according to a pilot study may be effective in helping those with BPD and eating disorders.
Borderline Personality Recovery – Paradox of Pain
In my latest video, Borderline Personality Recovery – Paradox of Pain I talk about how central grasping this and all paradox was to my recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Shifting from the polarized and largely negative mind-set of BPD to a profound understanding of the paradoxical nature of life and specifically of pain I came to realize that pain is, in fact, a sacred teacher.
Borderline Splitting & Non Borderlines Inability to Rescue
A major defense mechanism for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder is that of splitting. Non borderlines cannot rescue borderlines. Splitting is one of the central realities in relationship to someone with BPD that hooks, traps, hurts and devastates non borderlines often seeing them try harder and harder to rescue the person with BPD in their lives. A non borderline cannot rescue a borderline.
Borderline Personality Disorder Resources – Canada
bpdresources.ca is a website focusing mainly on Borderline Personality Disorder resources available in Canada with some information from other countries as well. Are you in Canada and do you treat BPD, have a website about BPD or Blog about BPD? If so, I’d sure like to hear from you and include you on bpdresources.ca
Wants and Needs in Borderline Personality Disorder
People diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder have difficulty emotionally identifying what they want and what they need and the difference between wants and needs.
Non Borderline Illusions of Rescuing a Borderline
The typical Non Borderline spends an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to rescue the person with Borderline Personality Disorder in his or her life. Rescuing a person with BPD is an illusion.
The Rupture and Repair of Cooperation in Borderline Personality Disorder – Study Points to Malfunction in the Brain of Those With BPD
Cooperation and/or trust is very difficult, if not next to impossible for those in the active throes of Borderline Personality Disorder. Researchers from Baylor College of Medicine have identified a brain malfunction that they have associated with borderline personality disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder and My Choice To Recover
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
Borderline Reality – An Ode to Loss
Borderline Personality Disorder causes tremendous loss. This is an ode to my loss. A loss that though grieved and healed beyond BPD still requires on-going expression from time to time.
The Quiet Borderline
The Quiet Borderline is often misunderstood and does not present or come across like the classic “acting out” borderline. A look at how the quiet borderline is different from the “average” borderline.
Borderline Personality – I Want You To Rescue Me – So Rescue Me!
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often are not consciously aware of it but they want to be rescued and they want you – the family member, the loved one, the relationship partner – the non borderline – to rescue them.
Borderline Personality – The Surrender of Radical Acceptance
For those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) the surrender of Radical Acceptance can mean the difference between getting on the road to recovery or remaining stuck in the active and very painful throes of BPD.
Addiction and Borderline Personality Disorder – It is Even More Futile for The Relationship Partner
From the adult-child of 2 borderline parents to being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to recovering from BPD at the age of 38 to the non borderline role in a relationship with someone with BPD. I have extensive experience with the pain of both side of BPD. Six years after I had recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) myself, I ended up in a relationship with someone who had BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What a mess. Paradoxically a mess that would make sense and order in my life in ways that I could not have ever imagined.
Leaving My Borderline Ex – A Good-Bye Letter To My Ex’s Family
A.J., I have been so blessed by what I’ve read on your websites. Recently I had to leave a destructive BP relationship – leaving the state in which we lived – I wrote a letter just before leaving to his lovely family who was also aware of the condition. Basically, I broke up with him right after in a “hoover” maneuver he finally researched BPD and accepted it (or so I thought but more abuse and insanity followed)
