Is there a connection between whether a relationship exists between mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder and depression, challenges in interpersonal functioning, and/or attachment difficulties in their children? There was a study done to try to determine the effects of mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder on their teen’s social problems.
Borderline Personality Disorder is manifested largely through the defense mechanism of splitting. Splitting is vacillating between the extremes of idealization and devaluation. What results from the negative half of splitting – devaluation is projection and lack of trust. A.J. Mahari, author, speaker, mental health and life coach, in a video, talks about how the negative thinking experienced in the devaluing half of borderline splitting obliterates idealization and produces a marked shift in the mood and behaviour of the borderline.
Author, speaker, mental health and life coach, A.J. Mahari, herself a woman who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder 14 years ago has many edited, up-dated, and new videos on various aspects and facets of Borderline Personality Disorder for those with BPD and for family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners of those with BPD – non borderlines.
Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, has done a two part video series for loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Non borderlines face a lot of difficulty, confusion, heartache, and loss on the other side of someone with BPD. For each loved one, family member, ex or relationship partner of someone with BPD your experience, as a non borderline, is a journey.
In her BPD Audio Podcast, A.J. Mahari talks about the experience of the adult-child of the borderline mother and her own experience with her own mother, who has Borderline Personality Disorder. The legacy of having a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder is often centered around a very painful lack of nurture along with insecure attachment and abandonment.
Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, a woman who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder over a decade ago, talks about various issues of Borderline Personality Disorder for those with BPD and for family members, loved ones, ex or relationships partners of those with BPD (non borderlines) in audio segments on her website.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be reduced to a series of inter-connected and, at times, elaborate defenses that serve to promote dissociation (or fragmentation) and denial – living in fragments of the past superimposed upon the here and now in and through the borderline false self that makes getting to one’s true essence and lost authentic self like walking backwards through a maze.
Borderline behaviour is often compared to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by those who aren’t borderline and experience BPD behaviour from the outside. Is this really a fair and meaningful comparison? What is this comparison trying to illuminate? Is it helpful to non borderlines wanting to better understand BPD?
Abandonment trauma, regardless of the cause or causes of Borderline Personality Disorder is the most central issue that borderlines grapple with, sometimes on a daily basis.
Do you have someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder? A.J. Mahari has resources that can help you understand. Are you trying to fix or rescue your borderline? Do you need to know more about BPD? Do you have questions about the quiet borderline, splitting, abandonment and BPD, love and BPD? Do you need to let go?
A major defense mechanism for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder is that of splitting. Non borderlines cannot rescue borderlines. Splitting is one of the central realities in relationship to someone with BPD that hooks, traps, hurts and devastates non borderlines often seeing them try harder and harder to rescue the person with BPD in their lives. A non borderline cannot rescue a borderline.
Some people have BPD in the family whereas I came from a family of BPD. Children do learn what they live. The effects of Borderline Personality Disorder on family members is far-reaching and profound.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and their family members, relationship partners – non borderlines – have intersecting reality where common ground is encountered. This common ground, however, is not experienced in the same way by the borderline and the non borderline.
It is the acceptance of the paradoxical irony of the core wound of abandonment coupled with the the abandoned pain of BPD that is the very nature of the reality of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is at both its cause and at its epicenter of recovery.
May has been declared as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Awareness Month in the United States. I think this is very important. I hope that my country, Canada, and others will follow in supporting raising awareness of and about Borderline Personality
There is a central truth about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is a truth that is all-too real and painful for both those diagnosed with BPD and those who are family members, relationship partners (ex – relationship partners) children or parents or friends of those with BPD (non borderlines).
Borderline Personality Disorder creates layered situations from which extrication is very difficult. This is true for the borderline or the non borderline.
There is a dance that takes place between those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder(borderlines) and those who try to relate to them (non borderlines). It is painful. The reality of Borderline Personality Disorder in a loved one, partner, family member, or friend, sets up a toxic and painful quagmire for the non borderline.
It is the core wound of abandonment in those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is the source of insecure or non-existent attachment that leads to the toxic and unhealthy ruptured relationships that have at their centre emotional enmeshment and an insatiable need for love. These broken relationships, often rupture under the weight of the child-like behaviour and needs of the borderline still searching for the much-needed unconditional acceptance, validation and love of a parent as the result of unmet early childhood developmental needs.
For those with Borderline Personality Disorder the reality is that One More Abandonment In Borderline Personality Will Lead to the Road to Recovery. That abandonment is the borderline’s active choice to abandon his or her previously abandoned pain, to face and welcome in that pain, to tolerate its distress, to regulate the emotions connected to the pain, to grieve the pain, and to eventually let the pain go.
Whether you have a mental illness, personality disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, love and care about someone who does, or whether you are stressed out, often anxious, or if you have been sexually abused or had a traumatic or even a merely difficult up-bringing (most have some wounds from childhood) or consider yourself to be healthy and just fine Radical Acceptance can and will enhance your overall quality of life and your spiritual experience in and of everyday life.
Borderline Personality Disorder leaves those diagnosed with it and family members or loved ones alike often puzzled as to what to do and how to cope. It is important for both the borderline and the non borderline to continue to pursue a clearer understanding.