Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, has done a two part video series for loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Non borderlines face a lot of difficulty, confusion, heartache, and loss on the other side of someone with BPD. For each loved one, family member, ex or relationship partner of someone with BPD your experience, as a non borderline, is a journey.
In her latest audio podcast, Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality, challenge, and consequence of the lost self in Borderline Personality Disorder. A.J. has also written an ebook on this subject, Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder – The Lost Self – Impact of the Core Wound of Abandonment in which she takes a more in-depth look at the lost self in Borderline Personality Disorder.
Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, a woman who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder over a decade ago, talks about various issues of Borderline Personality Disorder for those with BPD and for family members, loved ones, ex or relationships partners of those with BPD (non borderlines) in audio segments on her website.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be reduced to a series of inter-connected and, at times, elaborate defenses that serve to promote dissociation (or fragmentation) and denial – living in fragments of the past superimposed upon the here and now in and through the borderline false self that makes getting to one’s true essence and lost authentic self like walking backwards through a maze.
The human borderline and the non borderline dilemma. What does that mean? Why would I phrase this like this you may wonder? I can’t count the number of times I’ve listened to non borderline clients I life coach or read non borderlines emails where, in their understandable pain and confusion, family members, loved ones, relationship partners of those with BPD – non borderlines – make statements that question the reality of those with Borderline Personality Disorder being human or not.
Borderline Personality Disorder in a mother has significant, lasting, and impacting effects on her children. The effects of those who are now the adult children of a borderline mother seriously impact their relationships throughout childhood and into adulthood.
A.J. Mahari, a woman who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder over 12 years ago now, had 2 parents with BPD who did not recover. A.J. has done some videos now about her thoughts and experience about being the adult child of a borderline father and a borderline mother and finding her way to emotional freedom and her own closure.
Understanding the impact of the core wound of abandonment and its role in the lost self of those with Borderline Personality Disorder, whether you have BPD or love or care about someone who does, is very important to coping with Borderline Personality Disorder.
A.J. Mahari’s 8th ebook on the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder is now available. Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder – The Lost Self – The Impact of the Core Wound of Abandonment © A.J. Mahari, September 2008
So many people with a loved one, family member, or ex or relationship partner with Borderline Personality Disorder get stuck in what is really an illusion that they can rescue the borderline from Borderline Personality Disorder.
For many with Borderline Personality Disorder, suicide, especially in times of triggered dysregulated emotions or loss, can seem like the only solution to end pain that they just do not know how to cope with. Suicide, however, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
People diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder have difficulty emotionally identifying what they want and what they need and the difference between wants and needs.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the experience of living from one’s false self trapped within the spiral of past losses that obliterate the experience of relational moments in the “here and now”.
Lack of object constancy in Borderline Personality Disorder is at the heart of borderline abandonment trauma and repeated relationship rupture.
The black hole of BPD affects both borderlines and non-borderlines. It is painful and real on both sides of Borderline Personality Disorder. The shame of abandonment is an enduring self-destructive schema for those with BPD. It is a pattern of toxic relating and relationship rupture.