Those who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder have at the roots of their insecure attachment a rage that is often the source of so much abusive behaviour. Insecure attachment, one of the major root causes of BPD, leaves those with BPD recreating the ruptured relating they experienced that caused their emotional development to arrest resulting in the lost self – the loss of authentic self that is then supplanted by a false self that has no understanding of healthy or consistent relating.
As one who has been there and made it back, A.J. Mahari, examines the struggle for identity, to find the lost authentic self, to know who one really is that those with Borderline Personality Disorder face. What does it entail? What has caused it? Can it be addressed and changed?
The human borderline and the non borderline dilemma. What does that mean? Why would I phrase this like this you may wonder? I can’t count the number of times I’ve listened to non borderline clients I life coach or read non borderlines emails where, in their understandable pain and confusion, family members, loved ones, relationship partners of those with BPD – non borderlines – make statements that question the reality of those with Borderline Personality Disorder being human or not.
There is help to be found for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). While the main core of this help is best delivered by professional therapists one must be careful when choosing a therapist. One must also be ready and prepared to take personal responsibility for helping him or herself.
Adult children of those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder often struggle with many aspects of the relationship (or lack thereof) with the parent that has BPD. Responses of adult-children with a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder to questions from A.J. Mahari about ending the relationship with the borderline parent.
The adult-child of a borderline parent need to, if he or she hasn’t already, take his or her own life back. What does that mean? What does that look like? How does one do that?
What is best for you to do if you are in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and you are coming to the conclusion the relationship isn’t working? What do you do if you want to end the relationship? Do you need to institute no contact or is there another way? What is kind and what isn’t kind in this circumstance often experienced as a dilemma for relationship partner of someone with BPD – the non borderline?