There is reason to have optimism that Borderline Personality Disorder does not have to be a life sentence. There is reason to have optimism and hope about creating change in your life if you have Borderline Personality Disorder. It is important for those with BPD and those who are family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners or friends of those with BPD to note that no one can change or rescue someone from Borderline Personality Disorder.
A.J. Mahari, author, life coach and strategist, on video talking about the issues and challenges that those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder face. Mahari stresses that recovery is possible and that there is hope for recovery.
Borderlines and Non Borderlines live in different worlds. Different worlds that are parallel emotionally. Non borderlines live, at least, somewhat in the here and now whereas borderlines are often unaware of the here and now because they are re-living the past over and over again.
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
For those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) the surrender of Radical Acceptance can mean the difference between getting on the road to recovery or remaining stuck in the active and very painful throes of BPD.
If you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) you may well be ignorning or not taking seriously a wealth of information that is available to you. Sometimes the most valuable thing a borderline can do is delay, if not stop, protecting, reacting, and coming to his or her own defense and just sit with what others are saying to you.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality (BPD) have experienced the loss of the authentic self. This loss of self creates a void, a vacuum that then is filled by a fragmented and wounded pseudo-false self. This loss of self is largely, if not entirely, the result of the core wound of abandonment and its legacy.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and their family members, relationship partners – non borderlines – have intersecting reality where common ground is encountered. This common ground, however, is not experienced in the same way by the borderline and the non borderline.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is treatable. If you have been diagnosed with BPD there is reason to hope. It is not in the comfort zone of many with BPD to trust feeling hope. Hope is not a part of polarized negative thinking. This is what makes hope something so challenging to those with BPD. The absence of hope only further fuels the hallmark of BPD – polarized all-or-nothing black-and-white negative thinking.
The journey from Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD) and Fragmented Denial to Understanding Change and Recovery is the journey from false self to authentic self.
I think there is a tremendous need for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder to re-think BPD. I think also that those who are family members, friends, relationship or ex-relationship partners – non borderlines – also need to re-think BPD.
It is the acceptance of the paradoxical irony of the core wound of abandonment coupled with the the abandoned pain of BPD that is the very nature of the reality of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is at both its cause and at its epicenter of recovery.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often struggle to understand the concept and practice of taking personal responsibility. Personal responsibility must be realized and accepted by those with BPD if they are to recover.
Abandonment in relationships with adults with Borderline Personality Disorder – are borderlines abandoned or do they abandon others?
There is a central truth about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is a truth that is all-too real and painful for both those diagnosed with BPD and those who are family members, relationship partners (ex – relationship partners) children or parents or friends of those with BPD (non borderlines).
Borderline Personality Disorder creates layered situations from which extrication is very difficult. This is true for the borderline or the non borderline.
There is a dance that takes place between those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder(borderlines) and those who try to relate to them (non borderlines). It is painful. The reality of Borderline Personality Disorder in a loved one, partner, family member, or friend, sets up a toxic and painful quagmire for the non borderline.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) puts a tremendous strain on even the best or closest relationships. Whether you have a partner – husband or wife, a girlfriend/boyfriend, friends or even a family member with BPD – any or all relationships can be very strained, if not lost, if those who have BPD do not work to heal much of the aspects of how the BPD traits affect them and the ways that they relate to others.
In my experience, when I had BPD, the most profound area of life that was affected by BPD was that of relationships. In my experience with BPD, that was the case right from my relationship to and with myself, to the relationships within my family of origin, friendships and romantic relationships. All were drastically affected by the way in which BPD had manifested itself in me.
It is the core wound of abandonment in those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that is the source of insecure or non-existent attachment that leads to the toxic and unhealthy ruptured relationships that have at their centre emotional enmeshment and an insatiable need for love. These broken relationships, often rupture under the weight of the child-like behaviour and needs of the borderline still searching for the much-needed unconditional acceptance, validation and love of a parent as the result of unmet early childhood developmental needs.
There is considerable stigma and a prevalant attitude among many professionals, let alone people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), that BPD is intractable and cannot be recovered from.
There are many theories as to the cause of BPD that are being forwarded by professionals. There is even an on-going debate about what BPD should really be called. There is this energy invested in all of the theories, all of the ideas about what this mental illness challenge is called or should be called to the point that the related distractions for those with BPD may in fact be blocking their chances for recovery.
Those who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder get separated from the essence and conscious awareness of this precious part of “self” – the inner child – just as they are separated psychologically and emotionally from the lost authentic self.
The journey from the active throes of Borderline Personality Disorder to getting on and staying on the road to recovery is one that must include integrating one’s inner child and his or her feelings into your conscious awareness in the here and now.
In this program A.J. Mahari talks about how those with Borderline Personality Disorder can find hope from her own experience as someone who had BPD and has recovered. Mahari knows what it is like to fight the battle of borderline negativity to find her way to the hope that helped her to go on and recover.