People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often are not consciously aware of it but they want to be rescued and they want you – the family member, the loved one, the relationship partner – the non borderline – to rescue them.
For those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) the surrender of Radical Acceptance can mean the difference between getting on the road to recovery or remaining stuck in the active and very painful throes of BPD.
Borderline Diary – My Borderline Years – My Borderline Father’s Raging Abuse – Most years I was so protected at Christmas. I had learned my lessons well. Our family was well off enough and toys and/or gifts were always aplenty. But what came with those gifts and presents wasn’t quite the opposite of the spirit of the season – quite the opposite of love. It was enmeshed abandoning betrayal served up as “love” – “love” borderline style.
A.J., I have been so blessed by what I’ve read on your websites. Recently I had to leave a destructive BP relationship – leaving the state in which we lived – I wrote a letter just before leaving to his lovely family who was also aware of the condition. Basically, I broke up with him right after in a “hoover” maneuver he finally researched BPD and accepted it (or so I thought but more abuse and insanity followed)
I was married to a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope my experience will help some other non-borderline to get out early while the damage can be contained. My experience goes back to Norwood, MA in the spring of 1998 and ends with a divorce decree in Trenton, NJ from my complaint filed under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(c); grounds of “Extreme Cruelty.”
What is best for you to do if you are in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and you are coming to the conclusion the relationship isn’t working? What do you do if you want to end the relationship? Do you need to institute no contact or is there another way? What is kind and what isn’t kind in this circumstance often experienced as a dilemma for relationship partner of someone with BPD – the non borderline?
The difference between enabling and helping someone is often one that is blurred in Borderline Personality Disorder. It is blurred by both those diagnosed with BPD and family members, loved ones, relationship partners (ex’s) – non borderlines of those who have BPD.
If you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) you may well be ignorning or not taking seriously a wealth of information that is available to you. Sometimes the most valuable thing a borderline can do is delay, if not stop, protecting, reacting, and coming to his or her own defense and just sit with what others are saying to you.
Many family members, relationship partners (ex-partners) – non borderlines – of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) think of borderline self-injury or self-harm as being limited to the physical generally and to cutting primarily. Is borderline self-harm limited “self” destructive acts of a physical nature only? The answer is no – not at all.
For anyone who is a family member, relationship or ex-relationship partner of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (often referred to as non borderlines) there is a central painful paradox that is a common experience.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), regardless of what is thought to cause it, manifests as a relational disorder. Those with BPD often have unrealistic expectations. This disorder of relating is largely driven by distorted thoughts and unrealistic expectations.
Power and control struggles are at the heart of much of the relating of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. The underpinnings of BPD are firmly established in dysfunctional and polarized distorted thinking that, in relationships, results in power and control struggles with others.
The journey from Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD) and Fragmented Denial to Understanding Change and Recovery is the journey from false self to authentic self.
Abandonment in relationships with adults with Borderline Personality Disorder – are borderlines abandoned or do they abandon others?
The black hole of BPD affects both borderlines and non-borderlines. It is painful and real on both sides of Borderline Personality Disorder. The shame of abandonment is an enduring self-destructive schema for those with BPD. It is a pattern of toxic relating and relationship rupture.
There is a central truth about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is a truth that is all-too real and painful for both those diagnosed with BPD and those who are family members, relationship partners (ex – relationship partners) children or parents or friends of those with BPD (non borderlines).
Borderline Personality Disorder creates layered situations from which extrication is very difficult. This is true for the borderline or the non borderline.
There is a dance that takes place between those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder(borderlines) and those who try to relate to them (non borderlines). It is painful. The reality of Borderline Personality Disorder in a loved one, partner, family member, or friend, sets up a toxic and painful quagmire for the non borderline.
My Up-coming Memoir about My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder and my Recovery From It I am currently writing a memoir about my recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. In this memoir I will be sharing relevant experiences from my life,