The narrative of many people with Borderline Personality sets up loved ones – validate – understand – BPD splitting – Devaluation ends relationships. People with BPD are (often subconsciously) seeking rescue. They don’t see you, they don’t attach to you.
Life Coach, Mental Health, BPD and BPD Loved Ones Coach, A.J. Mahari was interviewed on The Empowering Solutions Radio Show by Susan Kingsley Smith on Blog Talk Radio, Friday October 4, 2013 on the subject of Borderline Personality, what it
Does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder mean reconnecting with people that had to leave to take care of themselves? In my experience the answer is no. It is important to grieve, let go and move on and to learn from past failed interpersonal dynamics so that they are not repeated in the future. What was then, was then. This is now. There are new people to meet, new relationships to forge and as someone who recovered from BPD, I have my – a found, known, and emotionally mature authentic self to fall back on in the meantime in ways that I didn’t have when I had BPD.
Loved ones, especially partners, of those with BPD, need to know more and understand more about the false self in Borderline Personality Disorder and how it can leave you feeling empathy, sorry for, and/or guilty about your reactions or feelings to the person in your life with BPD. The Borderline False Self can leave your head screaming “get out” and your heart not knowing how to let go of a relationship.
Life Coach, and Author, A.J. Mahari, invites you to join her on a new website, new Facebook Page and a new online support community designed to help you get on or move further along the path that is the journey beyond Borderline Personality, whether you’ve been diagnosed with it or are a loved one trying to cope. It is possible to get beyond borderline personality. A.J. Mahari knows because she, personally, got beyond borderline personality 15 years ago.
Do people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder play mind games? Life coach and author, A.J. Mahari, who herself, recovered from BPD 15 years ago answers this question based upon her own life experience and her experience coaching hundreds of clients with BPD and who are loved ones of those with BPD.
In her latest Borderline Personality Disorder Inside Out podcast episode, Life and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari talks about what she calls the core wound of abandonment and the negative impact that creates in the lives of those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD need to find hope from the polarized negativity of BPD. Polarized negativity that has its roots in unresolved abandonment. Abandonment negativity impacts hope for those who have BPD and for their loved ones.
Author, Life and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, empowers loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder to take care of themselves, cope more effectively with someone with BPD in their lives, and to find their own healing on the other side of BPD via her coaching services for loved ones of those with BPD. Read what a few of her non borderline clients are saying about working with A.J. as a life coach and watch A.J.’s video where she talks about her work coaching loved ones of those with BPD.
Borderline Personality Disorder and the borderline and non borderline quest to understand more about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) along with both sides needing to be understood. Borderlines and non borderlines, emotionally and relationally, live in parallel universes. Trying to achieve a collective and lasting connected understanding is, more often than not, very challenging at best.
A.J. Mahari, in a two part video series, talks about the false self in Borderline Personality Disorder. It is important that those diagnosed with BPD gain more insight, understanding, and awareness into and about this false self in order to get on the road to recovery.
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder have to contend with a deep and profoundly pervasive pain that they often aren’t even consciously aware of. This pain, at the heart of BPD, is the pain of abandonment.
Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, a woman who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder over a decade ago, talks about various issues of Borderline Personality Disorder for those with BPD and for family members, loved ones, ex or relationships partners of those with BPD (non borderlines) in audio segments on her website.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be reduced to a series of inter-connected and, at times, elaborate defenses that serve to promote dissociation (or fragmentation) and denial – living in fragments of the past superimposed upon the here and now in and through the borderline false self that makes getting to one’s true essence and lost authentic self like walking backwards through a maze.
For many who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, as well those who are family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners (non borderlines) of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD can be a complex enigma that isn’t well understood.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder need to gain insight and perspective often through professional support in order to get on the road to recovery.
Is intimacy possible with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? Can you really create a bond with someone with BPD? Family members and relationship partners of those with BPD as well as friends often find out that those with BPD are not capable of achieving or sustaining a healthy bond.
Adult children of those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder often struggle with many aspects of the relationship (or lack thereof) with the parent that has BPD. Responses of adult-children with a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder to questions from A.J. Mahari about ending the relationship with the borderline parent.
If you have a family member with Borderline Personality Disorder, does your pain – very real pain – justify judging the borderline in your life as being evil? If you can “paint” them as evil does that make your life easier? Does that change your experience? Does that fix your relationship?
Understanding the impact of the core wound of abandonment and its role in the lost self of those with Borderline Personality Disorder, whether you have BPD or love or care about someone who does, is very important to coping with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder causes tremendous loss. This is an ode to my loss. A loss that though grieved and healed beyond BPD still requires on-going expression from time to time.