Life Coach and Author, A.J. Mahari, poses the question, why is it we need steps to coping with life? Life is difficult. Many do not get the emotional, psychological, and social tools and skills that they need to be on top of their coping with life. Many people are enduring their lives, just barely, stressed, anxious, worrying, really letting their lives pass them by. This does not have to be the case. You can change this. I can help you change this and break free of the negative thinking patterns, codependent and toxic relational dynamics of needing too much and being too demanding that cause so much stress as to make life difficult to cope for themselves and those around them.

We will be dealt several hands of cards to play the best we can. How can you help yourself to learn new ways to cope with the cards you are dealt. It is the way you play the cards that life deals you that is far more important to how you will cope or fail to cope effectively than it is the cards life actually deals you.

Each person needs to have a mindful awareness of what steps to coping will lead them to which skills and tools that are needed to create lasting positive healthy change. That is what I explore in the Life Coaching process with clients and help them to identify, along with their goals and dreams and what might have been blocks. Using the steps to cope program I offer my clients is effective cognitive re-training and by changing the way you think, you can change your life and how you cope with it, how you will go from struggline to cope to thriving.

There are many places to get stuck in feeling like a victim, like things aren’t fair. If you end up “right-fighting” for justice versus learning how to accept what is in a more positive and less reactive way, you will stay stuck and blocked not only from the most effective coping in your life but also from what you most desire in and for your life. We create our life experience by how and what we think. There are outside forces, at times, that deal the cards of life. Yet, each person can also deal themselves a less than stellar hand if they are dwelling on the negative, living in the past, not addressing past hurts and wounds with acceptance and working toward understanding that can free you from past troubles and difficulty in coping and help you transition to radical acceptance and living in the here-and-now. We rarely have the power or control over external events or people that have hurt us in the past to have any effectiveness in trying to reslove what others don’t want to resolve or see differently than you do. Your freedom awaits you when are ready to learn more about how to use the steps to coping I’ve developed to accept what is, embrace the pain, and put in place positive ways of thinking. Coping with life requires that we are flexible. That we learn to go with at least some of life’s flow lest we spend our lives trying to control things outside of our control and end up swimming up-stream against the current, outcast, ostrasized, too needy, too demanding, distancing and driving people out of our lives.

What is needed is a perspective shift and action together in a positive newly chosen direction that means you are willing to face your fears, feel your pain, learn to trust yourself, and trust others but with boundaries and wisdom, not in a codependent risky way.

You need to be able to learn how to think logically and clearly enough to make new positive and much more effective changes in the ways that you cope with life – which will become the ways that you can thrive in life and not continue to just endure or merely cope with life in ways that present constant turmoil to or for you. You can empower yourself. Life Coaching is a process of supporting each client to through their own steps to coping with life in ways that create positive healthy change and do away with obstacles.

It is so important in the steps to coping more effectively in your life that you learn how to let go of worry and of fear and don’t let anxiety stop you either. Anxiety is a teacher. It is the universe trying to get your attention that something is out of balance. To cope more effectively, create positive change, and find balance in your life, it is very important to learn to see the middle-path way to cope and deal with life. If we can see both sides, the negative, challenging side, and the positive, hopeful side, of life and its challenges then we will have much more awareness with which to make wiser healthier choices.

What happens generally in your life, what happens specifically to you, in your life, is less important and defining that how you think about it is. How you think about will determine how you experience it. Most people are looking to cope with life’s challenges and stresses via external sources or external stimuli – perhaps even using it as distraction. This only will make things much more difficult and get you very stuck in circumstances that leave not so happy in your life. The root of effective coping, the middle-path way, is to accept what is and to know that the process of learning to cope more effectively is one that needs to come from the inside out – it is an internal process, not one that can be soothed by anything or anyone externally and that’s why so many people are so unhappy, overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious. That and because they are overly focused on re-thinking all the negative instead of accepting what is and turning that negative into positive.

 

© A.J. Mahari, November 13, 2012 – All rights reserved.

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Why is It We Need Steps To Cope With Life?