Cluster B Personality Disorders as defined in the DSM-5 create for loved ones, neighbors, co-workers, adult children, and anyone in their proximity, a “crazy-making” gaslighing, abusive and chaotically devoid of boundaries and limits experience. This hurts even the mentally healthy
Narcissistic abuse is devastating. Any and all of it. Narcissists leave untold damage to be healed and dealt with by those they claim to “love”. Narcissists have no idea what healthy love is. For many women the first Narcissistic Personality
For many people with mental health challenges not getting what you want or not being able to have what you thought you wanted can be a very triggering and anger-producing dysregulated and overwhelming emotional place to be. It will feel
Life Coach, BPD and BPD Loved Ones Coach, and Author, A.J. Mahari works with loved ones and those with Borderline Personality and has been since 1997. In all of the sessions she’s had with Loved Ones of BPD – siblings,
Finding your voice, your authenticity, or more of your authenticity, requires you to seek and remain open to being connected and staying connected to your authentic self emotionally. It is this quest for your own emotional mastery that will teach
When it comes to experiencing being hurt by someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and/or Borderline Personality Disorder can or even should you have compassion for those with narcissism? Having compassion for anyone who is narcissistic, whether they have Narcissistic
When someone tells you who they are, believe them. What is often not thought about in the arena of human life is that for all of the ability we have to think, feel, and perceive that may set us apart
Life Coach and author, A.J. Mahari, has many coaching clients who are dealing with varying levels of consequences, in their own individual lives and life situations, that are all related to unresolved abandonment issues. Unresolved childhood abandonment issues are often
Author, Life Coach, BPD/Loved Ones Coach, A.J. Mahari describes 5 very central key elements for loved ones of those with Borderline Personality, family members of a person with BPD, Ex’s, significant others of those with BPD need to know and
Without clear goals you can end up confused about what you want to achieve, and you may be putting yourself putting roadblocks between yourself and your desired goals. Clear goals can give you tremendous momentum and intense purpose in your
Toxic relationships are proliferating in what is a narcissistic cultural landscape. Are these relationships mistakes? If a toxic relationship is a mistake I would argue that once you begin to learn from it and let it teach you that it
Borderline Personality Disorder, as it is defined in the DSM-IV, has been way too pathologized. It is going to be even more pathologized in the next edition of the DSM – DSM V due out in 2013. Who does that help?
A.J. Mahari, Life, BPD and Toxic Relationship Coach talks about what is at the center of toxic relationship/relational dynamics along with other issues – a fear of being alone and/or an inability to be alone – a profound, primal, loneliness that goes back to your early childhood. This loneliness is associated with a great deal of profound and primitive (early childhood) pain.
A.J. Mahari’s Borderline Diary – My Borderline Years – Mirror Without Reflection – My borderline mother, my mirror without reflection. My borderline mother, blank face, blank stare – angry. Always so angry. How many more times will you reach out to her only to be abandoned again. Only to be rendered just a little more invisible? How many times? She hurts me. I hate her. She hates me. I love her. I hate her. I need her. I can’t stand this.
Borderline Personality Disorder has at its centre tremendous pain that is protected against through many defense mechanisms that manifest themselves through anger and rage. Author, speaker, and life coach, A.J. Mahari, talks about the main reasons for the anger and rage in and of BPD.
As one who has been there and made it back, A.J. Mahari, examines the struggle for identity, to find the lost authentic self, to know who one really is that those with Borderline Personality Disorder face. What does it entail? What has caused it? Can it be addressed and changed?
In her latest video, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality that those who have (or had) a borderline mother, or father, or as in her case, both, and are an adult-child of a borderline need to engage their own recovery process.
I know why the caged bird sings because I am a caged bird. I am a caged bird that has been singing a song, a song that expresses my longing to be free for years. I long to be free from the cage that is my nutty family. I long to be free from being relegated to the invisible albeit “black sheep” role that they have me stuck in, in their minds. When I left “home” at 17 I thought I would find freedom from their caging me in. Hasn’t happened. Even since I have moved out to go to college I am still in this cage. Everyone is them and their criticism of me is in everyone else. I don’t know who I am but whoever I am I must suck and therefore in my hating them I think I hate myself too.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has two distinct dysfunctional relational styles. The “acting-in” style of many with BPD is known as the quiet borderline. The result of relational style of the quiet borderline often culminates in the silent treatment. The best known and recognized style of many with BPD is that of the “acting out” or raging borderline.
Power and control struggles are at the heart of much of the relating of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. The underpinnings of BPD are firmly established in dysfunctional and polarized distorted thinking that, in relationships, results in power and control struggles with others.