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People diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder do not have a sense of known self or a stable sense of identity. In both a video below and on youtube and an in depth audio program available for purchase at,, Author and Mental Health Coach and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, talks about the lost self in BPD and the need and search for the lost self and for identity. Mahari talks about what it means and what it feels like to not know who you are and how that can effect your life and keep those with BPD stuck in the suffering and victimization of past abandonment trauma. Mahari knows because years ago, when she had BPD, she did not know who she was either. In her recovery from BPD 14 years ago Mahari did find her lost authentic self and her identity.

At the center of BPD is the core wound of abandonment – an abandonment wound so traumatic that it causes what Melanie Klein referred to as the "psychological death of the otherwise burgeoning authentic self"

This "psychological death" that anyone diagnosed with BPD experiences causes such overwhelming pain at such a very young age in childhood that there is no way to cope with it. This pain then is effectively also abandoned which coupled with the loss of self creates the need for the rise of the borderline false self that in many ways is at the center of the on-going impact of the core wound of abandonment.



Read more and purchase A.J.'s Audio Program

Lost Self In BPD – Need and Search For Identity


The self that you have lost, if you have BPD, does not have to remain lost. You really can learn how to search for it and what that means. You really can find your way back to this precious self and to the identity that it holds within it. This is a major part of the work required to take the journey of recovery from BPD The Journey From False Self to Authentic Self – getting in touch with the inner child in BPD
© A.J. Mahari, August 11, 2009 – All rights reserved.

A.J. Mahari is a Life Coach who specializes in working with people who are searching for ways to improve themselves, the quality of their lives with BPD or who are loved ones of those with BPD. A.J. has 6 years experience as a Life Coach and has coached hundreds of clients from all over the world.

Lost Self In Borderline Personality Disorder – Need and Search For Identity