Are you a loved one or family member of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you searching for a deeper understanding of BPD and of how to take care of yourself? Those who have a family member or loved one with BPD, or who have been in a relationship with someone with BPD will benefit from increasing their understanding of both Borderline Personality Disorder itself and the dilemmas that it presents on The Other Side of it
A.J. Mahari, author, life coach, a person who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder, and who had 2 parents with BPD, in a video, talks about the legacy of Borderline Personality Disorder in the life of the adult child of someone with BPD.
Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari, has done a two part video series for loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Non borderlines face a lot of difficulty, confusion, heartache, and loss on the other side of someone with BPD. For each loved one, family member, ex or relationship partner of someone with BPD your experience, as a non borderline, is a journey.
In her latest audio podcast, Author, Life Coach and Strategist, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality, challenge, and consequence of the lost self in Borderline Personality Disorder. A.J. has also written an ebook on this subject, Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder – The Lost Self – Impact of the Core Wound of Abandonment in which she takes a more in-depth look at the lost self in Borderline Personality Disorder.
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder have to contend with a deep and profoundly pervasive pain that they often aren’t even consciously aware of. This pain, at the heart of BPD, is the pain of abandonment.
A.J. Mahari was a guest on the Page2Pantry radio show hosted by Niki Guluchi on KPFK on the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) along with a woman, Wendy, who is recovering from having been in a relationship with a man who has BPD.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be reduced to a series of inter-connected and, at times, elaborate defenses that serve to promote dissociation (or fragmentation) and denial – living in fragments of the past superimposed upon the here and now in and through the borderline false self that makes getting to one’s true essence and lost authentic self like walking backwards through a maze.
The adult-child of a borderline parent need to, if he or she hasn’t already, take his or her own life back. What does that mean? What does that look like? How does one do that?
Understanding the impact of the core wound of abandonment and its role in the lost self of those with Borderline Personality Disorder, whether you have BPD or love or care about someone who does, is very important to coping with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder experience what I call a Puzzle and Mystery of Hope On the Other Side of BPD. There are many faces to hope for those who are non borderlines.
Borderline Personality Disorder is not a mental illness that afflicts only women. It may seem that only women are diagnosed with BPD because we read and hear much more about the experiences of women and of course more women, still, seek help then do men.
If you have a family member who has Borderline Personality Disorder chances are you have, at some point, tried to rescue them. Perhaps you are still trying to rescue them. The notion that we can rescue a family member with BPD is really an illusion. A painful illusion.
As an adult-child of a parent (or in my case parents) with Borderline Personality Disorder the love that is so scarce is toxic and the relationship is enmeshed as the child exists to serve the endless emotional needs of the borderline.
For many with Borderline Personality Disorder, suicide, especially in times of triggered dysregulated emotions or loss, can seem like the only solution to end pain that they just do not know how to cope with. Suicide, however, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Abandonment trauma, regardless of the cause or causes of Borderline Personality Disorder is the most central issue that borderlines grapple with, sometimes on a daily basis.
Do you have someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder? A.J. Mahari has resources that can help you understand. Are you trying to fix or rescue your borderline? Do you need to know more about BPD? Do you have questions about the quiet borderline, splitting, abandonment and BPD, love and BPD? Do you need to let go?
Borderlines and Non Borderlines live in different worlds. Different worlds that are parallel emotionally. Non borderlines live, at least, somewhat in the here and now whereas borderlines are often unaware of the here and now because they are re-living the past over and over again.
The typical Non Borderline spends an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to rescue the person with Borderline Personality Disorder in his or her life. Rescuing a person with BPD is an illusion.
Borderline Personality Disorder is the absence of an actual personality. For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is not who you are. You can make a choice to find out who you really are in and through making a choice to recover. I talk about the choice that I made to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder and how and why I made that choice.
The Quiet Borderline is often misunderstood and does not present or come across like the classic “acting out” borderline. A look at how the quiet borderline is different from the “average” borderline.