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Borderlines Don’t & Won’t Love You or Attach To You especially if untreated or not substantially treated over years. People with the trauma response the APA pathologizes and stigmatizes as Borderline Personality, have arrested early childhood development. People with BPD more often than not have not only abandonment trauma but also attachment trauma. 80% of people with BPD report trauma in their childhoods. Recognizing the trauma response “BPD” is a growing area of Humanistic Psychology and is being adapted and practiced by many Mental Health professionals. Taking a trauma-based approach is optimal to helping clients. This is not something that those hurt by someone with BPD in their own lives need to parse. There is no excuse for Borderline abuse and people need to know that you can’t rescue, change or fix the borderline. Trying to get them into therapy is not going to save your relationship.


People with Borderline Personality, which is an early childhood trauma response that results in a loss of self by the age of 2, are not able to love or attach to others. They don’t have a stable sense of self or identity. They lack self-reference, therefore they also, unless treated, healed and recovered (recovery is very possible) lack “other-reference”. They don’t really see you. They idealize in the beginning of significant other relationships in unconscious efforts to seek identity through you.

© A.J. Mahari, September 30, 2020 – Video Content © July 9, 2020 – All rights reserved. No reproduction in any media format, in whole or in part is permitted.

Borderlines Don’t & Won’t Love You or Attach To You