BPD Coach and Peer-Therapist, A.J. Mahari, who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder in 1995, has a new website that focuses on holistic and alternative as well as some aspects of traditional treatment for BPD. Mahari was the child and later the adult-child of 2 Borderline Parents. She is the Ex of person with BPD/NPD that she was in a relationship with and that she ended and then had to recover from as an Ex-Partner of someone with BPD/NPD, years after her recovery. She has been coaching clients since 2000.
Non Borderlines, Loved ones of those with Borderline Personality, need their own recovery. Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari talks about this in her latest video about Borderline Personality Disorder for non borderlines. Most people think that it is just people with BPD that need recovery when the truth of the matter is that Borderline Personality Disorder, and the dynamics it manifests in all forms of relationships means that both those with BPD and those who know them are affected and often in negative, confusing, and painful ways.
Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari now has her Thought Changing Affirmations Handbooks 5 Volume Set available. Through the use of these positive affirmations, one a day, or one a week, you can learn to change your negative painful thoughts into more positive pain-neutral and/or happy contented thoughts. Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve. If you want and need to stop suffering and to experience more peace, more calm, less to eventually no emotional dysregulation in your life than Mahari’s 5 Volume Set of Changing Your Thought Positive Affirmation Handbooks will be invaluable to you in your recovery process. A natural way to help empower your own recovery. A natural way that you have control over to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. You will feel so much better about yourself. Thoughts define our experience. What you think really controls what you experience, your pain, difficulty in relating to others, in relationships, in knowing who you are and so much more. It is all generated by the rigid thought patterns you’ve built up from a very young age and added to over the years. Affirmations might sound silly, or hardly like a hopeful solution to improve the quality of your life, but take it from Mahari who not only knows this and witnesses incredible change in the clients she coaches but she knows this first hand having recovered from BPD in 1995.
I now have a new site where I will be sharing much more about recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. This site will include video, audio, blogs, and coming very soon – excerpts from my up-coming memoir about my recovery from
Borderline Personality Disorder may still be diagnosed more in women than men. What does this mean? It is unlikely that fewer men have Borderline Personality Disorder. It is likely that the numbers aren’t as skewed as many believe, or as stereotypes and stigma forward. There is a bias among most who diagnosed mental illness. Many men who may in fact have BPD can end up being diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) instead. I have many clients who are men with Borderline Personality Disorder. What is often over-looked is that young children have needs. Needs that must be addressed sufficiently in order for psychologically and spiritually healthy emotional development regardless of gender.
Mental Illness and The Brain – What’s Wrong with Psychiatry? Mental illness – is it biological or isn’t? What do you think? I guess I’m a rebel at heart, someone who thinks outside of the box. I know in my own experience, having recovered 15 years from Borderline Personality Disorder, that along the way, on my journey, I had a psychiatrist tell me I wouldn’t get better until they developed some pill – I didn’t believe him. He wasn’t correct. I fired him on the spot after that comment. That was 1987. That was before this notion now forwarded that everything mental illness is a “brain disorder”. Professional in psychiatry are speaking out against the “status quo” of mental illness as a “brain disorder”.
Rigid thought patterns in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are one of the central manifestations of all that Borderline Personality is and means in the lives of those who have been diagnosed with it. Loved ones and family members are often hurt and confused by these rigid thought patterns also. BPD Coach A.J. Mahari identifies three main reasons why people with BPD have such rigid thought patterns. These rigid thought patterns actually trap people in the active throes of BPD until and unless they get professional help to begin to learn how to think beyond the constricted magical thinking of a primitive concept of cause and effect. Primitive concepts of cause and effect that along with rigid thought patterns are at the center of The Legacy of Abandonment in BPD A legacy of abandonment that is the central cause of Rage in BPD.
Borderlines are incapable of intimacy which leaves loved ones and family members – non borderlines -experiencing borderline push-pull which can be crazy-making. By the very nature of BPD, borderlines as the result of their defense mechanisms of splitting, projection, and narcissism, can’t help but push-pull. When those with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder try to get close to someone – attain emotional intimacy – they immediately fear engulfment so they push away or push the non borderline away.
Much is being learned about various biological or neuro-biological implications for those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Whatever one believes about recent scientific exploration, the jury is still out in terms of proven and agreed upon conclusions. Invalidation in one’s environment, growing up, as a child remains a strong common denominator in the reported experience of most, if not all, who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Invalidation in Borderline Personality Disorder remains a central ingredient in so much of the relational difficulty for those with BPD and their loved ones.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Coach, Mental Health and Life Coach, and author, A.J. Mahari has a new mircoblog, Ask The BPD Coach, where she answers questions about BPD from those who have BPD and loved ones – partners and family members of those with BPD. Are there aspects of BPD that you’d like to know more about?
The adult child of a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder faces a legacy of loss. Author, Mental Health and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, on the need for closure when relational reparation is not possible. Mahari shares her own experience as the adult child of a borderline mother (and father) and how she finally did get closure in her audio Closure for the Adult Child of the Borderline Mother available at Phoenix Rising Publications
Is there a connection between whether a relationship exists between mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder and depression, challenges in interpersonal functioning, and/or attachment difficulties in their children? There was a study done to try to determine the effects of mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder on their teen’s social problems.
Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is very possible. At the heart of recovery from BPD is the reality of choice. Awareness and emotional understanding of choices and their consequences is often compromised for those who have BPD. Notwithstanding that fact, however, what everyone with BPD needs to know is just how central to recovery choice really is and why.
Many loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder struggle with ways to cope and choices and decisions that have to be made. Is tough love an option for loved ones of those with BPD? Why or why not?
If you are a loved one – a non borderline – with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder in your life, A.J. Mahari, life coach and strategist, a woman who has recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder, in an audio program, talks about borderline splitting and the reality that loved ones, non borderlines, cannot rescue someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Are you a loved one or family member of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you searching for a deeper understanding of BPD and of how to take care of yourself? Those who have a family member or loved one with BPD, or who have been in a relationship with someone with BPD will benefit from increasing their understanding of both Borderline Personality Disorder itself and the dilemmas that it presents on The Other Side of it
A.J. Mahari, author, life coach, a person who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder, and who had 2 parents with BPD, in a video, talks about the legacy of Borderline Personality Disorder in the life of the adult child of someone with BPD.
Suicide is really not the answer to the pain of Borderline Personality Disorder. You may have once believed that or it may feel like it is the only answer when you are entrenched in black and white all or nothing thinking.
In her latest audio podcast, A.J. Mahari, talks about self harm in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Along with talking about how vast it is Mahari explores the main reason for self harm. She also asks and then answers a central question – who is really getting hurt and harmed in borderline self harm?
People with Borderline Personality Disorder need to gain insight and perspective often through professional support in order to get on the road to recovery.