BPD Idealization Devaluation Cycles – “Get-Away Closer” BPD Push/Pull BPD idealization is not as real as BPD devaluation. Both result from the core relational impairment of the Approach Avoidance Conflict in BPD – It’s the push-pull “get-away closer” that cannot
Mother With Borderline Personality Disorder – Wounding Childhood Dynamics & The Trauma Bond
Mother With Borderline Personality Disorder – Wounding Childhood Dynamics & The Trauma Bond Are you someone who was “raised” by a suspected or diagnosed mother with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are we really ever “raised” by untreated BPD mothers? The devastating
Borderline and Codependent Denial – The BPD “We” & The Codependent “They”
Borderlines and Codependents both have considerable denial. It’s not manifested in each groups lives the exact same way yet it underpins a lot of this most unhealthy bond. Online Borderlines often use “we” when they share their narrative (often not
Does Your BPD Girlfriend Want Space? – Slow BPD Split to Devaluation and Ghosting | Now what?
When a BPD girlfriend or BPD Boyfriend wants space it is a slow split to devaluation and ghosting – Now what? What does this mean? Is it over? Is it a final discard? What is a slow split to devaluation
BPD Lack of Emotional Intimacy
People, untreated, with Borderline Personality Disorder, cannot be emotionally intimate, in any relationship type, consistently, congruently, or age-appropriately. What is healthy emotional intimacy? Healthy emotional intimacy requires mutuality and reciprocity. It also requires the emotional intelligence and maturity to be
BPD ABUSE – Borderline Externalized Aggression
Not all with BPD are the same. Some will never be violent. A smaller percentage of both Men with BPD and women with BPD can be violent physically. Male and Female Borderlines Abuse in many ways. What has been your
Codependency vs Covert Narcissists
Codependents are not narcissists and narcissists – specifically the “pretending” to be “codependent” cover narcissists are not actually codependent. Many people have various differing opinions on this. I can see where some are coming from. However, just because to a
Loved Ones of BPD Protect Your Health When Borderline Rages
Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder are triggered often, causing the idealization split to rapidly become a devaluing split that comes with the emotional dysregulation of externalized aggression, RAGE. After the suicide of my partner, 4 months ago, today, I
After Narcissistic Abuse – Finding Yourself & Cultivating a Healthy Comfort Zone
People who are abused by a Narcissistic or Borderline significant other, boyfriend, girlfriend or a parent from childhood continuing into adulthood, develop what is defined as a “toxic” or unhealthy “comfort zone.” People try to meet their needs in ways
Does the Narcissist Just Turn Off “The Love Button?”
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder – narcissists, though they have some differences are so universally patterned in their behaviour and the ways that they target victims and abuse them. What happened many wonder as the shock of reality starts to
Healing from Borderline Personality Narcissistic Personality Abuse – Loved Ones
Healing from the abuse of someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very painful process. Not as painful as being abused is, however. It is a necessary though so that your mental and
Are you a Codependent? In a Painful Relationship?
Are you a codependent? Are you in a painful relationship? Are you a person who comes from a toxic or somewhat dysfunctional family of origin with a parent or parents with Borderline Personality Disorder that you are trying to help/rescue?
Authenticity and The Authentic Self
[huge_it_share id=”1″]A.J. Mahari, Counselor, Author, Life Coach and Mental Health Coach, takes a look at what it truly means, in every day life to be seeking authenticity. Mahari believes that we are all in some aspect of attempting to actualize
Dissolving Past Pain and Moving Forward in Your Life
Are you stuck in patterns of relating in your adult relationships generally, romantic relationships more specifically that are causing you pain and leaving you experiencing failed relationships? Are you still holding onto past pain? Do you have unresolved childhood
Toxic Relationships and The Need to Let Go
Life is a series of hellos and good-byes. It is about attaching, connecting, and often separating and then detaching, disconnecting and letting go. In toxic relationships all-too-often one or both participants are not skilled when it comes to limits, boundaries,
Partners of BPD – Ex’s and/or On And Off Again – Why?
Life Coach, BPD and BPD Loved Ones Coach, and Author, A.J. Mahari works with loved ones and those with Borderline Personality and has been since 1997. In all of the sessions she’s had with Loved Ones of BPD – siblings,
Childhood Attachment And Toxic Relationships
Author, Life/BPD/Mental Health Coach, Toxic Relationship Coach and Self Improvement Coach A.J. Mahari talks about early childhood development its impact on how we either learn to attach or fail to learn to attach and the role of attachment styles in
Codependence – When “Help” is Toxic and Really Hurts
Many people have heard about aspects or traits of codependence or codependency. What many people do not realize is that more often than not people who lack boundaries and come too close too fast, in any kind of relationship or
Core of Toxic Relationships – Codependence
Codependence is a mindset that is at the core of toxic relating and toxic, enmeshed, relationships. It is mindset that leads people, often without being aware of it, to try to get their needs met by and/or through others. Neediness
5 Key Elements In Understanding Borderline Personality
3 Non Borderline Ebooks 6 Non Borderline Ebooks 5 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD Series of Ebooks Inside The Borderline Mind For BPD Loved Ones 3 Audio Bundle for BPD Loved Ones Ebooks and Audio © A.J. Mahari Part
